A
female
age
26-29,
*TheAlmightyDuckx
writes:Hello my aunts and uncles! I really could do with a tad of advice as I am slightly worried. I do not expect any medical advice and only wish for some support and general opinions. My aunt died a year ago on the 11th from Acute Lymphatic Leukaemia (I beleive that is the name for it). The Leukaemia she had was one of the rarest ever, with only nine cases of it being in the UK. She was a very positive women and was sweet and caring and battled it with humour. She had two young children one who at the time was a newborn boy and is now one, and another who at the time was three and is now a four year old boy. She battled this terrible disease for 6 months before she sadly passed away while in a coma, her death was hard for all of us as she was only 30 and left two young children behind. I have been having a few problems of late due to my health, the most serious one was when I had some spontaneous mouth bleeding about a month ago. I went to the doctors yesterday, as we believe that this strange mouth bleeding was a side effect of the medication I was on. He was very quite and he booked me in for a blood test, when we read the form he had written we realized I too am now also being tested for Leukaemia. With the anniversary of my aunts death approaching I am so nervous and worried, it feels like my life is going to be put on hold and I can't stop thinking about what is going to happen if I do have it. I need some advice on how to try and look on the positives instead of the negatives because I am displaying the same symptoms my aunt was in her early teens which were said to be tell tale signs. It just seems at the moment everything points to the fact I do have it and I really need some advice and a bit of reassurance, any adivce? x
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): I too come from a family with a history of cancer. I lost my mother, father, two sisters, and my life-partner. That's a lot of people to lose. Especially in one family.My dear, we live life one day at a time. You are an innocent child with a heavy burden on your young shoulders. Your aunt's story is similar to the story for my mother and a sister. They both left this world with infant children. My brother was only one, and my niece was only two. Their love for all of us kept a twinkle in their eyes and a smile on their faces. They embraced life and didn't show fear.I come from a loving and spiritually strong family. We were taught from children to keep faith, love each other, and always come together to help the weakest of us. My older sister tried to raise us like her own children when she was only a child herself. My dad hired a nanny, but it didn't stop her from trying to show us what my mom would do if she were there. My little brother called her mommy for a while, and she stopped him to remind him she is his sister. He grew up not remembering our mother; but he said,somehow he felt like he always had a mother, because of her.Your aunt showed you what to do, when overcome with the threat of illness; so use her bravery as your example. You don't know anything yet. Your aunt would probably tell you to have fun and pretend nothing was wrong. You have your parents, siblings, and others you love that you should appreciate more than ever. Just spend some time laughing and enjoying their company. Don't sit alone dwelling on sad things. Life is still life, even when it gets tough. We rally together to make the best of it, even when it starts turning to poo.Your mother's arms is where you retreat when the world is too harsh. They are warm and loving. They make fear fade. Your dad gives you his strength and protects you from all those monsters that invade your head telling you to be afraid.Little children face illnesses everyday. They lie in their beds and wish they could play like other kids, yet when they see their parents and the nice people who care for them, their little faces light up. Life could be better,but the take it as it is, and they still know how to smile and feel loved.Concentrate on the people you love and don't be afraid to put your fears in their hands. That's what they're there for. To love and protect you. Be your comfort and sooth you when you have more on your mind than you can handle. Sweetie, be strong and face whatever comes. You are loved and don't have to face anything alone. I lost a lot of people in my family, but I cherish those I still have a million times more. I don't know what life is going to bring my way, but I when things get rough I pray. I call my friends, and I chat with my brothers and sisters. My heart swells with joy when I hear them say they love me at the end of a phone call. I love the way I can feel their heartbeat when they give me a tight hug. Give your mum and dad a tight hug. Watch how much power comes from that love. You are they're baby, and they will not let you face all this by yourself, no matter what the news. I will pray that all goes well, and you will find comfort no matter what. You are a precious young child, and you will be okay. There is too much love for you not to be.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Maybe on the one year anniversary of your aunt's death, you could sit quietly and reflect on her life and perhaps that her legacy in your family is that early deaths due to cancer stop now. Because you are all now aware and will now pay attention and get the screenings and chop off any freaking cancer right at the knees, before it has a chance to do damage.
Your aunt's legacy is one of courage and grace, and of living a rich life, with loved ones, friends and family, missing her, which means that she was loved and appreciated while she was here in body.
My sister and mother and grandmother went through the no hair and no eyebrows too…. it's not very nice but thankfully, it is only temporary. My sister never even bothered buying a wig! She made do with hats and scarves….
I think you are right, you are extremely sensitive to this at the moment due to the anniversary and there will be all kinds of reminders which may be unsettling in the moment. I would take that moment when you are reminded of her, and experience that spark of worry, then, and acknowledge the moment, cherish the thought of the love you had for your aunt, the love she had for her family, and be thankful that she was in your life.
One thing we learned as my sister was in treatment is that stress isn't healthy so do all the things that nurture your body. Stay away from unhealthy people and toxic habits. Be your own best health care advocate. Be the squeaky wheel if you have concerns. Ask the questions you need to ask. Write them down so you remember them. Write down the answers you get as well. Ask if you can record important consultations. Be aggressive, assertive and proactive.
You will be just fine.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (3 December 2013):
xTheAlmightyDuckx is verified as being by the original poster of the question The reason he has booked me in for a blood test to see if I have cancer is because aparently having bleeding from the mouth and ears (forgot to mention ears) is not very common and could be linked to cancer. I'm very to hear from those who have cancer running in there familys, I did forget to mention I also have it running in my family, my aunt isn't the only case, my great grandmother died from cancer, I also beleive my great grandfather died from cancer, and I believe my great grandmothers mother also died from cancer, there is another person in my family who died and it was suspected it was cancer related but as he died in a poorer country as he worked abroad, they didn't investigate into it. I know the doctors have to rule things out its not that i'm worried about, the reason i'm so worried is because of the similar symptoms I am expressing to what my aunt did at my exact age, and then after she died it was said that they were tell tale signs which were ignored, and I guess its the extent of how similar they are which is making worry so much. I know worrying won't help, and I know I don't need to think about it unless it happens, but due to it being the one year anniversary soon and all of that I am especially nervous, and I am trying very hard to put it to the back of my brain. I just haven't felt right for a while and I know it could be down to anything, I guess the big bit which really sent me into spiralling into constant worry was I went for a meeting today and I was feeling slightly better and then a little boy came and sat next to me, after a while I realised it was a little girl who had cancer as I heard her mother talking about it and realized she had no hair, eyebrows and was wearing pink. It really didn't do me any good ovbiously and with my aunt and all of this it is getting a bit too much. I will try my very best to put it to the back of my brain and just get on with things, I guess all of this is intensivfied by the timing and the history and today with the little girl. But I will try my best to just not worry, thank you for your great support and advice, and thankyou for wishing me luck. x
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 December 2013):
Doctors order tests to rule out diseases and conditions all the time. It's standard procedure, so don't put too much time worrying about it.
I say, don't borrow worry. If you have it, well then, you can face it and as you have a massive head start, thanks to your aunt's experience, you'll beat it. If you don't have it, you will have wasted time worrying about something you don't have. Does that make sense?
My grandmother, mother and sister all had breast cancer. I obviously get screened for it every year. Do I sit around and worry about my results until I get them? Nope. I go out, do my ordinary things and just set it to one side. If I get that unwanted call, THAT'S when the alarm bells would go off and all systems get set to "go" to fight it. But I don't need to waste my energy fighting a non-battle.
P.S. My grandmother is dead (she'd be well over 110 if she were alive) but not of breast cancer, my mom is in her 80s and my sister is 5 years free of the cancer.
So live in the present moment, do not live in the future, that is where anxiety comes from. Live in the NOW and savor each moment.
I'm sure you'll be fine. The doctor is just being cautious, and rightly so.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2013):
 That IS scary, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, BUT like SVC you have AGE on your side and all the research and advancements in care, treatments and curing since your Aunt passed.
The sooner you test the sooner you know where you stand. And the sooner IF you have it, it can be worked on.
Also know til you have the results there is nothing you can do but wait. I know that sucks.
Like C. Grant said take your mind of it if you can, spend time with people you ENJOY and care for.
I hope your test will come back negative and they will figure out what is causing the bleeding in your mouth.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Leukemia in children and young adults is often very curable.
Also ONE relative who has had cancer is not a sign that your family is predisposed to it and worrying about something that has not happened at this point is going to be detrimental to your health.
DO not panic at this point...
often doctors test for things as a way to rule them out...
the worst thing you can do is panic.
IT would not hurt you to call the doctor and ask him why he's testing for what he's testing for... it may be a very simple explanation.
I can tell you from my experience that the only thing to do with a family like mine is live every day like you are dying.
my grandfather died of cancer at age 62
my grandmother lived the longest in the family she was 69 when she died of lung cancer along with bladder cancer.
my mother died of lung cancer and brain cancer at age 58
and her sister died of lunch and brain cancer at age 53 the SAME age I am now.
I get your anxiety and I can tell you that you can't worry about it regularly... you have to just live every day to the fullest.
I do.... it explains so much of why I do what I do... I fully expect to be dead from cancer in the next 10 years.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (3 December 2013):
 OK hun, deep breath. I can understand how scared you must be. But keep in mind what you said yourself -- A.L.L. is vanishingly rare. Odds are that you don't have it. Fretting between now and the time that you get the test results won't do any good. The best advice I can give you is to keep as busy as you can -- go out with friends, work on projects, watch your favourite movies -- whatever it takes to keep your mind occupied. And when your mind refuses to be occupied, there's nothing wrong with leaning on a friend and crying your fears out on their shoulder.
Chin up -- it won't take long for them to give you the good news that you don't have cancer. My fingers are crossed!
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