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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm a 26 year old woman and I broke up with my ex-boyfriend three years ago. At the moment we are good friends. I had a fling with his friend after we broke up three years ago. I never spoke about this even to his best friend. We all hang out together in a group. Now his best friend wants to start up things with me again. I'm ignoring him because i don't want to cause conflict within the group but I'm extremely attracted to him. What do I do? Is it advisable to get into a relationship with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): I have the same problem. Only, I'm still with my boyfriend. I love him to death but I am overwhelmingly attracted to his best friend. I'd like to know how to be unattracted because that's my only option. In your case, I'd say three years is an awfully long time to be hung up about an ex dating a friend, especially if everyone still hangs out together in a group. If your ex does have a huge problem with it, I'd say it's because he's still hung up on you, or has possesiveness issues that aren't healthy ("You can't have that, it was my toy and even though i don't play with it anymore, I don't want anyone else playing with it either" That kind of thing.) If you're both really serious about this, I would suggest the best friend going and talking to the ex about wanting to be with you. If your ex has an ounce of maturity than he'll respect the fact that you're both taking his feelings into consideration and will "give you his blessing", avoiding any kind of awkward method of him just finding out you're together. Be warned though, if he does have a huge problem with it, just bring it up will probably have the same effect as just going ahead and dating each other so you have to ask yourself if you're both willing to find a new group of friends if need be in order to pursue the relationship. Good luck!
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female
reader, Katylouise +, writes (9 October 2006):
If you get into a relationship with his best friend then if your ex finds out he will more than likely fall out with his best friends as there is a rule and it is never date you ex boyfriends best friends its the same with girls how would you like it if your best friend started going with your ex. You still wouldnt like it regardless of how long youve been seperated.
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