A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious issue. I'm with my bf for more than a year and... he doesn't know where I live.Actually, I don't want him to know. I came for college in an important city, from a small village. My bf lives in the college town. I'm ashamed to tell people where I come from, because they criticize my origins. It happened to be criticized in a negative way - people who live in villages are savages, they don't have internet access, men are drunkers, women have no school and stay at home to make 5-6 babies etc.I think so too, I admit I don't like my village at all.My parents are simple people, but they offered me everything I wanted, we have a relatively modern house, a fancy car, they're interesting to talk to. I know you're going to say that I have no choice but accept it, that village people are traditionalists (trust me, not all of them) and that I should just be honest with my bf and that the more I hide it from him, the worse it gets. He's insisting to come over to my home place, but I always avoid it. What I actually need are some suggestions on how could I approach this subject with him.. Please, tell me what to do... I feel desperate, I live with the impression that he'll dump me after knowing that I'm originally redneck. He's not that shallow, but I'm still ashamed... Thank you!
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTnx. I'll just be honest with him. I'll have to swallow my pride and tell him.
I thought of randomly showing him my ID card or my driver's license, where it says my hometown, and act like I've already told him where I live. You know, play a little game on him...
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Dont be ashamed, I know where you are coming from ... believe me I know. I didnt know the reputation of a place I thought would be safe for me and my kids when I found myself single with three kids to raise, but when I would tell people (men) where I lived they would slap their hands to their back pocket to protect their wallets and take three steps backwards.
Well, they missed an opportunity to dispell some incorrect stereotypes ..... as are you.
Start to make a game of it, take some photos of your home's interior, tell him you are going to introduce him to your home, and family, piecemeal. Print them on ordinary paper, a few to a page, staple them into a book.
Show him the inside, show him your non corncob pipe smoking parents, show him your dad's vege patch or shed or whatever your father is into, show him a photo of the exterior of the house, the outdoor living, the rose garden, whatever, a photo of the street name, a photo of your old school or play group and finally a photo of the "welcome to blah blah" sign.
You'll be okay, whatever happens, you will be okay!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): If he really breaks up with you because of where you live, then you are better off without him. People laugh and joke about people from anywhere different than where they are from. I grew up in the midwest on a farm, we laughed at people from the city. It's no big deal.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): If you don't want to bring your boyfriend to your home, you shouldn't have to feel pressured. Explain to him how you feel about your home town and why you don't want him to see it - if he's a decent enough guy, the fact that your village is a rougher area or whatever won't change his opinion of you and that's what matters. If he still wants to visit, then at least he knows what to expect. You'll just have to swallow your pride and be honest with him when it comes to approaching the subject...
And if he dumps you because of your origin, even after being with you more than a year, then you shouldn't bother yourself with guys like him anyway :)
...............................
|
