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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been friends with this girl at work for 4 years. She seems to like me. She flirts all the time with me and seems to like me. She asks me to go up to her house for coffee now and then, but the only thing is that she has a boyfriend. They only see each other 4 times a month and has only been to her house 6 times in 4 years. He seems to think more of beer than her. He never rings her much. I have never met him but my work colleages have, and they say he is very unsocial. I was going to tell her how I feel but she has just told me that her boyfriend is taking her on holiday for two weeks, so I did not bother telling her.What do I do? I can't stop thinking about her and I want her to be treated better, but she knows her owen mind. Even she says he is very selfish.
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at work, flirt, girl at work, has a boyfriend, on holiday, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Linda +, writes (25 November 2005):
You may find there are more complications to this girls relationship than you think, it could be a long term relationship that becomes part of your normal life so after a while you don't take any notice of the bad bits because your just used to the situation you live in.Another thought would be that she is playing safe, she's testing you with her invites for coffee to see how she feels but still keeping you at arms length so that if it turns outs she doesn't have feelings for you she's still got the safety net of the original boyfriend.My last thought would be that she just she's you as a friend ans is completely oblivious to your feelings for her and just enjoys your company.Whichever way you think she probably feels it needs to be sorted for your sake let her go on holiday then when she returns get together and see if she had a good time then make a judgement on it, if she had a good time maybe you should leave it after all if she's supposed ly happy what can you do but if it didn't go well why not push the boat out, take a risk and tell her how you feel!x
A
reader, Angel-lee +, writes (25 November 2005):
The only way you and her are going to be together is if she decides. Her boyfriend could be the most horrible bloke in the world but until she falls out of love with him or realises what he is like she will never leave him. The best thing you can do is to continue being her friend, show her that you care about her and would do anything for her and maybe it will pay off in the end. Just remember that she is still with him so she obviously hasnt realised yet but if he isnt right for her, then they will split up eventually. Just be there for her
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