A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have realised that I am in love with my ex boyfriend. He is not only my ex but he was my best friend for 7 years, we were boyfriend and girlfriend for the first four of those years. To make a long story short, he loved me for all of those years, but for some reason my feelings were not strong enough, so we just remaind friends. He is now with another girl, its been about 8 months since they've been together. This is his first girlfriend since me and him. He met her on the rebound, since a month before I rejected him when he poured his heart out and told me he wanted to be with me. Up until a few months ago we were still talking, but as soon as I told him that I was moving back and how I felt he cut me out of his life. I know its bad timing to realise my feelings and its selfish, but am I too late? or could he still love me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI for sure think I am being selfish, but at the sametime, its tough since he has been in my life for the passed 8 years, and we have kept in touch up until a few months ago, but I basically am now in his shoes, I now feel how he probably felt for all the time he wanted to be with me. I felt like we met to young and that we needed to have our own experiences otherwise I would feel like we were settling, but now I know he is the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I have never been more in love with anyone!! My family will not really give me any advice since from the get go they always said we should be together, and they dont agree with how I'm feeling. I know that I should just let him be and have him be happy, since I do want him too be happy, but how do I let go of 8 years, I'm not only having to let go of the person I realised I'm in love with, I am losing my best friend!! Oh ya and his girlfriend has a two year old daughter.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 In a way, you are being selfish. It's really hard when a girl rejects you, then out of the blue, she decides that maybe, you are worth it. You probably injured both his heart and his pride, and it's more than natural for him to be reluctant to deal with you. Right now, as a friend, you need to respect the fact that he's found happiness. If you love him, you'll want the best for him, which, at this time, is the girl that he's with. If they break up, he's open season. If that comes to pass, before asking him out again, you need to do A LOT of apologizing. If he becomes single again, you've got to apologize from the heart every day until he believes you, and is willing to give you another try. You also need to understand that if you get back with him, and break his heart again, you're going to lose him completely.
DV1
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (23 May 2007):
In a way, you are being selfish. It's really hard when a girl rejects you, then out of the blue, she decides that maybe, you are worth it. You probably injured both his heart and his pride, and it's more than natural for him to be reluctant to deal with you. Right now, as a friend, you need to respect the fact that he's found happiness. If you love him, you'll want the best for him, which, at this time, is the girl that he's with. If they break up, he's open season. If that comes to pass, before asking him out again, you need to do A LOT of apologizing. If he becomes single again, you've got to apologize from the heart every day until he believes you, and is willing to give you another try. You also need to understand that if you get back with him, and break his heart again, you're going to lose him completely.
DV1
...............................
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