A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi im a 19 year old girlprobably uv heard the same problem from other people like me.The thing is iv only dated like one bloke, ok its not much but its what ive done,and he stopped liking me.Anyway when i go round pubs with my mates i get attention from lads when i go out, thats nice i suppose but im so negative when i meet them i asume straight away that they only want one thing, sex.But if i start talking to them and if i notice they like me for me i start acting odd,maybe a bit childish.I dont want the attention just because im a preety girl, i want it because im a nice,geniune, kind girl, who would help anyone.Is it me as soon as I notice someone liking me for me, i immeddiatley get scared,and run offplis any advice xxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): I too have the same problem and what I think is happening is that you are scared to be yourself because your scared of rejection. By acting childish,you are hiding behind an act, which in a way protects the real you from rejection. Also because you are pretty, you think people expect you to be something perfect, but no one is, but because you look good you probably think they expect a higher standard, when really your just the same as everyone else. Face your fear and overcome it, you may get rejected once or twice but that will make you stronger but al least you will become you. Easy said than done as I myself am still trying. Goodluck xx
A
female
reader, jupa17  +, writes (21 September 2008):
As you are so young you can not properly understand your feelings and seem to be still trying to find you feet with regards to what you want from any kind of relationship.You seem quite secure about your looks yet totally insecure about your personality. Yet you seem to not show your personality off when given the chance this is part of the self fulfilling prophecy you have created. It all sounds like you are over analysing every possible situation. Just relax and try to be yourself, that may seem like the most obvious advice but if you are simply just yourself you should not feel scared or uncomfortable when initially meeting others.It also sounds like you may have some issues with trust, which cannot be sorted until you find the root of them. Personally i had family issues which in turn led me to hold barriers up against any one trying to get close to me,society works off a 'give and get' system so if your not prepared to 'give' its unlikely you'll 'get'.Hence if you don't like and trust in turn others will have the same opinion of you.
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