A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:I am very bothered right now. I’m from an Asian background and my boyfriend is British. We have been dating for almost 2 years and we know we want to be each other’s life long partner. First ridiculous thing is my parents just started thinking that we are serious about each other. Just recently, they start asking me questions like who pays for dinner, who pays for whatever else. To me and to my boyfriend, it’s really none of their business. I was parked in a parking lot and it was $2 so I just paid for it. My brother-in-law saw me paying for it and start saying how cheap of my boyfriend not even paying for parking. To my family, when you are dating, they think the girls get all the special treatment and not have to pay. I disagree with this and I think it should be split between two evenly. I would hate to have my bf trying to impress me when we were dating and end up being a cheapo when we are married. Do you think I’m being naïve? I think as long as my bf and I know the situation, my parents and sister will stay away from our business.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): Your absolutly right, your a big girl, you can live life the way you desire, and you desire your wonderful boyfreind who treats you nicely and sooner or later your parents will have no choice but to accept that. Let your parents know that becuase your happy that they should be happy for you, there are so many awful unhealthy relationships out there and your isnt one of those and your lucky.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (17 May 2007):
 No, absolutely not. I think you have a very mature attitude. Why should the guy pay for everything? It should be a split thing. I'm currently single but in all my relationships I split payments for stuff with the guy. A while back I was dating a guy with a job who had more money than me since I'm still a student but I still insisted on paying sometimes. We had to go to cheaper places when I was paying but who's to say the expensive places are the best places?
I'm not sure in your family's case whether it's a cultural thing that the guy pays for everything or just a different attitude but you're your own person. Then again, if it's going to cause this much angst I'd be inclined just to tell them that he does pay for everything.
CD
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