A
female
age
30-35,
*ls1990
writes:okay here goesI'm 18 years old and will be 19 in june. I have been with my partner for over a year, we have been living together for 10 months and we adore each other.We both have stable jobs and have the option to overtime if we wanted.enough blabbering. The thing is, we want a baby. We really want a baby. We have sat down and told my mum and his gran, they were both supportive.The only thing stopping us is the rest of our friends/family's reaction and 1 question .... Could we be good parents?Its driving me insane, a few of my friends have children and i find myself wishing i was them and getting jealous of them. Some people say i'm too young, my friends were both younger than me when they had their 1st, and they are so happy! Would really appriciate your thoughts on this Cx
View related questions:
jealous, want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 February 2010):
This update made my day.
Have a great holiday and tonight when you are having a big glass of wine, take a moment to consider how you've not had to get poo on your hands, and how nice and quiet it is in your nice house.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (13 February 2010):
cls1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Looking back to this question I asked nearly 12 months ago makes me so glad I took on board all your advise!
My partner and I are still together (2 years next week!), we have moved to a nicer house in a nicer area, we both have better jobs, I'm learning to drive & we have booked our 1st holiday abroad!
All of which would be impossible if I had gotten preg!
I'm now one of 2 people my age that I know that isn't preg or have got children, comparing my life to theirs I have got the better deal!
I just hope that other people that are in my previous situation sit down & really think about it, it might be the right decision for some people to have children young but it's certainly not mine! I'm going to be a godmum in April I think that's enough respons
Thank you guys for everything!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): wow! Now realise there is sense in the next generation. Good decision- now go see the world then when you do have kids you can bore them senseless with all your tales of daring do whilst abroad.
your life is still in front of you, i am pleased you thought rather than just did and realised too late that something are irreversible. You will be a great mum when you get there.
Star.x.
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (6 April 2009):
cls1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey every1, first of all thanks for the advise.
My partner and i read and re-read ur advise, had a long think & even longer chat & made a decision...
We are going to wait, we have made list of things we want to do before having a baby.
I have recently changed jobs (and now get paid more!) and im going to look into going to college part time. My partner & i are saving like crazy to get a bigger house & a new car. we are looking at 6 weeks travelling around europe & have booked 3 weekends away!
im glad we have decided to wait, and we're going to be so busy for the next 18 months we wont have time to think about a baby!
Thank you all so much for everything
C x
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (21 March 2009):
cls1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again people
Never been on a site like this before so i guess i was curious & thought why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone!
Nooo, dont ever ever ever want to be anything like my parents, they divorced when i was 5, i hardly saw him untill i was 13.
I think ive made my mind up guys so thank you.
Cx
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (21 March 2009):
 Your mind seems to be made up, so why ask for advice?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): ok what did you expect us to say?
you have asked for our wisdom from our many years and experiences... all is slightly different but sound.you are bright and have a lot going on for you that others would be so jealous of.
why don't you think you should have a baby? if its all so good. yet something is stopping you? what is it...us to say yes its a good idea? i don't think so. Do you want to be like your mother and father ? - which is who i guess you are trying to copy.
at your age you haven't lived - you are what 2 years into being an adult. so many more experiences to go. Live.
Star.x.
...............................
A
female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (21 March 2009):
cls1990 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all, appreciate ur time & opinions
in reply to some questions...
Yes we have spent time apart, 2 6 week stints
Yes we have had money worries but we did the best we could & got ourselves sorted again
Yes i do have a job, as does my partner
As for marriage, i dont believe a ring on your finger means your committed, its as easy to take off as it is to put on. We dont feel the need to spend a large amount of money to basically say we love each other & are committed, we already know that!
We dont want a baby cause we're bored & cause our friends are having them, its something we have both wanted since we were younger. I know all i have ever wanted is to be a mother.
I find some responses suprising, if i was a 14 year old already pregnant, living with my parents & scrounging off the state i could understand.
But im in a loving relationship, we have our own house & car & pay for it all ourselves.
Thanks again =]
Cx
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 March 2009):
You moved in together really quickly. Have you ever tested your relationship? Spent time apart? Had sleepless nights and money worries?
How do you know that it isn't just all too easy at the moment?
Most relationships last about 3 years so I always advise that you stick with someone for a while before linking to them for 20 years.
You aren't married or even engaged so you have nothing to bind you together.
He could get your pregnant and waltz off into the moonlight at this point quite easily. Yes he'd get some money taken off him by the CSA if you chase them to chase him for a couple of years, but you'd still be alone with a screaming brat.
Why not make sure that he is the one for you for a good long while before adding such a hugely incredible strain to your relationship.
Plus, you are so young? Don't you like having a social life and holidays?
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): I agree. I think you should wait at least a couple years. What do you have to offer a baby? Get settled, get married and get decent careers first. Having a baby should be a selfless decision.
...............................
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (21 March 2009):
A wedding ring is much cheaper than a baby, why not get married and show that you can commit to each other and actually live together for more than a matter of months as you'll have at least 18 years of being together if you have a child.
Also if you need parenting advise from the internet do you think you are ready and educated enough to be good parents?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): i think thats an impossible question. Define good?
you have given a couple of clues though - the sense to talk first and ask here. my vote if forced a gun point is probably. (virtually everyone is a good parent)
The real question you are asking though is should we have a baby now or wait. My vote is LIVE - have the baby later. why are you having it now? is it because your friends are? is it because you are bored? why? go and enjoy yourselves, travel, live do things. then have the baby later.
Hugs Star.x.
...............................
|
