A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work with a man that i've always been attracted to, but nothing ever happened besides mild flirtation. one night, my boyfriend and i got into a bad fight, and he basically broke up with me. We had been fighting a lot. anyway, i asked my coworker if he wanted to meet me for drinks that same night. i was surprised he agreed. we ended up drinking a lot, and i was heavily flirting. i tried to kiss him, but he responded, 'no, i can't. i can't do that'. i just figured he wasn't comfortable because we work together or wasn't interested. I wasn't bothered by it. We did start flirting more at work though. he also kept saying that i needed to take him out, because i had expressed guilt over the fact that i had left him with a huge bar tab that night. so, i asked him out again, but just as friends. when i met him, he was with his friend and another girl. we all had a good time. the other couple had to leave early, but we ended up staying. he alluded to the fact that he wanted to hang out some more after the bar had closed. i invited him back to my place, as friends, because i truly believed he wasn't interested. he ended up kissing me. i was shocked and asked why he changed his mind. he said he felt too guilty the first time we hung out, like he was taking advantage of my emotional vulnerability. we ended up having sex that night. when we saw each other at work, it was comfortable but the flirting was a lot heavier. We hung out again soon after. we text each other everyday, even when we are at work. we both work nights. if i'm off he will pick me up in the morning and i will sleep at his house all day, then we go into work. it seemed clear cut - friends with benefits. But, last sunday, he asked me to come over to his house. He was very cuddly and we lied on the couch for a long time watching a movie. The next day, he asked me if i could help with some stuff. i said 'yes'. we ended up spending the entire day together. When i saw him at work a couple of days later, i felt like he was looking for me to be more affectionate than the grade school flirting we usually engage in. I guess, i'm confused and don't know if he's looking for this to progress into something more. We are both not expressive people. i did notice he was disclosing more personal info when we last hung out. I'm also worried, b/c the more I get to know him, the more i like him. I'm trying to make sense out of everything without having that 'talk'.
View related questions:
at work, broke up, co-worker, flirt, friend with benefits, kissing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): Yes you're absolutely more than fwb. Fwb usually consists only with physical and sexual attraction. Fwb should care about each other as FRIENDS only. Your first mistake is not setting fwb bounderies. If you don't know what they are you can google it. Good luck!
|
