A
female
age
41-50,
*rackedHeart
writes:Dear Cupid,Let me start by saying I love my man. Love him, very much in love with him, and I don't doubt he has the same feelings towards me. We just don't have sex, which hurts on so many levels. Allow me to offer some background information...He is 30 years old, and I, 34. We have been together 9 years, been engaged to one another since 2010. Back in 2008, I lost my job, and have not been able to obtain one since. We, unfortunately, also live with my parents since 2009. Two years ago, I also had a bad fall, and damaged my left ankle. Not even a year later, I had another bad fall, this time damaging my right knee. Additionally, I have been on moere weight then I care to admit. A size 12, now a size 28. Unhealthy as it is I know, I only eat one small meal a day. Exercise is very limited due to my never properly treated knee and ankle.For over a year now, we have not had sex. Any time I make the attempt, he 'shrinks' when he comes near me. For the past six or so months, he tells me it's just his job is stressful. That it is not me. However, if I offer him a blow job, he is all for it and more. It's just me he doesn't want to touch.So my question is, are we just wasting our time by staying together?
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blow-job, engaged, live with my parents Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2015): I agree with what's been said - he's not into you. Sorry.I'm not sure that losing wweight will improve you relationship, but it might. More importantly it will HELP YOU! I'd advise to check your hormones, thyroid etc. But I understand that the money is tight. have you tried juice fasting? It does wonders. I'm talking from experience. If you don't have any serious health issues, you may try it by yourself. It would be good however just to do a basic check-up. Google it. You'll find a lot of usefud advice. I recently saw a very interesting (and funny) documentary - Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Maybe you should take a look. Apart from juice fasting it's about eating more vegetables and fruit. Go swimming. You can do it without hurting your knee/ankle.Don't give up!!!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 June 2015):
 I have to agree he is with you out of habit not love. And out of convenience - living with your parents I'm sure is easier on your finances.
He will "take" a blow job but he doesn't WANT to touch you. My guess is, he is turned off by you, but don't want to say it to your face.
YOU NEED to get yourself back. One little meal a day can actually make you BIGGER (not smaller) because you are putting your body in a starvation mode, it stores FAT above anything. And with limited exercise it will FURTHER store FAT. You can excessive even with your injuries. Swimming is VERY good when you carry extra weight, getting a bike (even a stationary one) can help as well. By being THIS sedentary you can develop a slew of other health related complications, heart problems, edema, respiratory issues etc.
5 meals (small) are better as it can kick start your metabolism, exercise though, will help far more. Find the local Y - see what they have of pool classes. I had knee-surgery 20 years ago, back then I gained 50 lbs from being a VERY active person to a NON active person. I lost it all again, mainly by swimming and some of the rehab water programs and taking my bike to work (10 miles each way) when the weather was good. Took me 6 months to lose it. I had to give up running (my "new" knee couldn't handle it.) but I tell you you CAN lose the weight.
But back to the original question. IF you are not happy with what you have, and he is not happy either - you need to talk. Figure out if you are going to continue (and thus WORK on it) or end it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 June 2015):
 if you are together 9 years and engaged for 5 and not yet married I'd venture a guess to say that it's over and not progressing
You live with your parents. I'm betting he stays because it's cheap and easy.
I'm sorry about your health issues and weight gain but eating one small meal a day is not healthy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2015): One small meal a day may mean that your body is holding onto the fat. I often lose weight when I eat more of the right kind of food. Try eat grilled chicken or beef, veg and rice three times a day. Watch pilates videos and try these exercise as they are often suitable for people with injuries. There are loads of exercises that can be performed around injury. Just keep moving and maybe visit a doctor for advice if you can.
From size 12 to size 28 is quite a leap. You have to think of your health.
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