A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Are we incompatible? My boyfriend and I have different tastes sex wise, he loves the porno raw/release type sex all of the time and whilst I can get into this most of the time I also crave the sensual foreplay/after-play type sex that we had at the beginning of our relationship!I have spoken to my boyfriend about this and put in extra requests for my favourite type of sex and whilst he says that he understands my needs we still only seem to have his type of sex!I have given him the impression that I think he's a stud in bed as I want him to be safe in the knowledge I won't stray (something he's rather paranoid about) and I know I've created a situation for myself but I can't seem to find a way that I can tell him our sex life is pleasing me less and less without hurting him or sounding like I'm nagging! Please help!
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (17 June 2009):
I don't think you're completely incompatible but he needs to accommodate you from time to time. A little compromise is good and won't hurt him. Sit down and tell him that your sex life is great, but the fact that he doesn't have the slow, sensual sex sometimes is hurting you and you're not getting what you need. Stress how important it is for you to have that intimacy and that it is a big issue. It won't hurt him to try it your way once in a while; after all it beats being turned down, right?
If he continues to ignore your sexual needs then you might have to break up and find someone a little kinder in bed.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): You're "incompatible" only in the sense that he won't give in and you won't demand it from him. There's nothing too weird about his preferences and yours. It's just kind of expected that most couples do a little of both kinds and accomodate each other.
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