| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Just wondering, how many people here have success stories regarding HUGE distances (like different countries)?Is it even possible?
View related questions:
different countries, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (2 November 2006):
 Hi again,
Thank you for the congratulations! We, of course like any couple, go through our ups and downs, but we always take it back into perspective and think how long we waited for each other at the beginning of our relationship. The fact that we were sooo committed to each other from the very beginning and learnt about each other through letters and phone calls, I think made our relationship that much stronger and we are now able to deal with many things I don't think we could have if we didn't start our relationship this way.
Is this English man as committed to you as you are to him? How long have you known each other for? How long are you going to be apart before seeing each other again?
It isn't easy girl, I can tell you that much. I got very depressed and cried so incredibly much for the first 6 months or so but then I knew I had to make the most of it. So I made wonderful friends whom some have even come all the way from the USA to see me here in lil ol New Zealand and I am very grateful for the experience.
I'll give you a little tip of something I did for my man. When I decided to do this I had 146 days left until I would see him again. (I had a little chart on my wall and so did he so we crossed off a day everyday until our reunion!) so I made a little card for every one of those 146 days and each one said something different. For example, "When I return home to your arms I am going to show you exactly what you have waited for and that it was worth it" or "the day I get back we are going to watch the sunset and make love on the sand". I then stapled them shut and wrote the day on each so he could open one each day for those 146 days. He said it was the most beautiful and thoughtful thing I could ever have done for him. So perhaps you could try something like that? He still has everyone of those little cards and we read over them often.
If you need any other tips or advice, just drop me a message and i'll try my best to help you out. :o) xxx
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (2 November 2006):
 i think hannie gave u a very good response and i just want to add onto it, i had a not so ldr compared to u as it was just six hrs drive but it didnt work out because when i look at it now i think there was lack of trust and a lot of insecurities my ex wanted to know what i was doing whom i hanged with and i felt intimidated even though he said he wanted to know how my day was like, for me it felt like he doesnt trust me and it made us grow apart instead of growing closer. the point im trying to make is that try to base ur relationship on trust among other things, understand each other more than u love each other
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): Hi, I'm the one who wrote this originally (haven't got an account).
Glad to hear about you and your boyfriend, congratulations on the 5 year anniversary!
I'm sort of in a LDR situation. I'm an American, and I'm trying to make it work with a British man. He's definitely worth the wait and trouble, but I'm just worried that because of the huge distance, it may not work out.
Then again, New Zealand and New York are much further apart than England and New York (where I live) and you guys managed to survive!
...............................
A
female
reader, hannieseds +, writes (2 November 2006):
Hi there,
It most certainly IS possible! You just have to find a person who is as committed to you as you are to them, have the same or similar values, believes in your love enough to wait for however long until you return and has a spare amount of money for phone bills!
I live in New Zealand and studied in New York for 2 years while my new partner of 2 weeks (we were friends for 5 years before we got together) waited for me back at home. He said he reckons it was a lot harder for him staying here being the one who was waiting because everything reminded him of me and he had to drive past all of the places we hung out together, while I was experiencing new places that were unfamiliar.
For the entire 2 years we had a time set aside each week to chat on MSN for about 4 hours and we called each other whenever we could. We always sent each other packages and hand-written letters to keep our love alive (as well as the beautiful phone sex and emails detailing everythign we would do to each other when we were reunited!).
It is the hardest thing in the world to do if you have any doubt or lack of trust in your relationship to begin with. We were totally committed and never once did the other question each others loyalty. We have just celebrated out 5th year anniversary and marriage is on the cards.
Are you in the same position or just curious about this?
...............................
|
