A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so the situation is...I've been with my boyfriend for almost 10 months and I promise I'm completely committed to him. I've never thought of leaving him for another and I generally consider myself to be very respectful of his feelings in that I don't flirt with other boys - all of my relationships with members of the opposite sex are casual and platonic. This is because I've always been very adamant that when you care about someone you don't spend half your time messaging and flirting with other people, especially not ex's.This brings me onto my worry. My ex and I follow each other on twitter. We broke up relatively amicably, but it was me who initiated it. I never begin contact with him, but he occasionally posts jokey replies to my tweets. I then reply for maybe two more tweets and then I usually leave it. I always figured it was just the best thing to do - ignoring seemed too rude and I thought I could be communicating there was some kind of issue between us. I suppose on some level I feel I have to because I'M the one who broke up with him and I'd look like a bitch not replying after that. If I had to hazard a guess I'd say he's most likely completely over me anyway - not that that's hugely relevant.My boyfriend doesn't go on twitter much, but I suppose the reason I'm posting this is that I realised I'm worried he'll happen to log on and see the odd reply and think something of it once he discovers that's my ex. Surely the fact I don't want him to see that means I shouldn't, though? There's truly nothing in it for me - I have no romantic interest in him and we haven't spoken by private text or in person since I ended it. I think this might just be stemming from the fact I can be a little jealous myself and I figured I might get annoyed if I saw my boyfriend having small conversations on twitter with his ex, even if they're dead short and harmless really. That being said, It'd jsut be the jealous part of me worrying - my reasonable side would tell me to trust that there's nothing in it.I've gone on a bit, but really I wanna know if people think I should ignore these replies in future or instead take faith in the fact my boyfriend trusts me and there's truly nothing in it...how would you feel if it happened to you? Unbothered or annoyed they were speaking their ex at all? I just don't want to be inconsiderate to my boyfriend or to harshly ignore my ex...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2013): Original poster:I agree with the odd thing WiseOwlE said, but that reply was way over the top and frankly unfair. I don't appreciate being called "sneaky" when I genuinely wasn't being. I've decided from now on I won't reply because it's obviously not worth the worry. I AM respectful of my boyfriends feelings and I never ONCE initiated any of the talking so I resent the phrase "there is no justifiable reason to contact your ex". I didn't reply for the rush or any of the things you said - I replied to be polite and so it would not look as though I had any problem with him. You may call it "not being easy to trick", but I call it jumping in, making assumptions and making unhelpful, mean comments. Could you not have left a reply the way the iAmHereToHelpYouDid? "You feel guilty so you should probably not reply to him again" - it's not difficult. I don't want this post removed so I'll leave it at that. Obviously you won't see this because I doubt you check back and if you did I'd get a load of "you're just annoyed because I'm right" crap. Nope. I'm annoyed because you were cruel and assuming in your reply and if I knew how to remove or report a post I would.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2013): You wrote a paragraph and a half telling how well-behaved you are, and how committed you are to your boyfriend.
You give us a complete runaround with the disclaimer that you are so loyal to your relationship; yet you're tweeting with your ex.
Your little escapade is going to catch up with you.
There was no innocence behind it. You were being a little sneak for the intrigue, and the heck of it. It's going to catch up with you and bite you.
You have no justifiable reason to contact your ex; and should completely ignore him.
Don't give us that excuse about being rude. You're being dishonest, which is just as bad.
No more tweets or any contact by social media with your ex; while with your new boyfriend.
You can dress it up and paint a pretty picture to make it all look innocent. It wasn't.
Now behave yourself. Your post is riddled with guilt.
WiseOwlE is not easy to fool.
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