A
female
age
41-50,
cupidette
writes:A couple of years ago I posted here raising my doubts about the relationship I was in. It seemed perfect in so many ways - best of friends for years, then amicable relationship for about 5 yrs with good communication and few ups and downs, but there was a niggling 'but'.Close to the time of us moving onto marriage, I had a niggling doubt which I couldn't define. Analytically I kept thinking this was because we were interested in doing different things, and as much as I would never prevent him from doing anything he wanted, and vice versa, I felt it was a little sad that we couldn't experience these things together. Equally, the thought of a split from him scared me. I love him and what if I decide to split from him and then lose him forever and he's the best thing that ever happened to me and I just let him go? Well.. I answered myself, and said if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, no matter what. (I was reading several books at the time which helped me with this - Celestine Prophecy for one).So, I took a leap of faith, we separated and he moved abroad with the intention of being there for a few months. We kept in contact regularly, as friends/possibility of being a couple on hold but free to do as we chose, and all remained amicable. After this happened, when I was least expecting it, someone else walked into my life, and I can safely and surely say that this person is THE ONE I have always been looking for - no question. How did I and do I still know this? I know this because I KNOW it, I don't just see it and think it, there is no doubt in my stomach, no niggling questioning, or what if's, just my gut feel, my intuition, knows it and there is no question about whether we are to be together forever now (as cheesy as that sounds!). And he knows it too.It's been less than a year and it's been an amazing journey so far. I am so more in love with this person than I know I've ever been with anyone else. It's not a dissolve myself and become infatuated kind of love (although the feelings might as well be infatuated as it's so strong!), but it's an independent, be myself, be accepted by him entirely as myself, accept him entirely as himself, coming together kind of love, and it truly grows each day.Even after a year and a half of knowing this person in the flesh, and after a 10 months of being with him in an actual relationship, I have a deep feeling of smittenness or 'honeymoon' period which people say normally goes after 3 months, but this still feels like new. There have been and will be challenges, but these are perfect challenges to help us grow with each other - not away from. If you have any niggling doubts and questions about whether the current relationship you're in is for you, don't ignore them - they niggles are always there for a reason, and they are there to be answered. Answers can only come from you, so trust your gut - trust yourself!Anyone and everyone can find that special one person, you just need to believe in yourself. I'm posting this so that others in the same situation keep the faith! Faith in yourself, and the belief that you can learn to love and accept yourself entirely, with all your faults. And faith in that someone else, who can accept and love you just the way you are too, with all your faults. The journey is a work in progress, but the concept can be accepted in an instant!If you don't accept this I would suggest you're not ready to find 'the one'. If you do accept this, then I truly believe they will walk into your life, and you will just KNOW IT. Namaste x
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