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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi,I am in big crisis. I have been with my girlfriend for 16 months now. I'm 23 years old and so is she. I stayed over her house last night, and in the morning while she was taking a shower, I checked her text messages on her phone. Now I know what I did was wrong, what I found made me feel like real bad. She received two text mssg's last week. They were anonymous; no name of the person, just the phone number. I forget what he exact messages said, but there were disturbing things that were said. The person said that he/she loves my gf in both text's. Also he/she says that my gf is gorgeous and that "it was very nice to see her the other day." I need help! We have a pretty good relationship. The sex could be better, but emotionally I feel we are perfect for each other.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2006): I have been in a similar situation unfortunately. It is hard and believe me it would be best if you admitted to your girlfriend that you snooped and found these texts.
I sat my bf down and told him straight out that I had came across these love letters from one of his co-workers.I told him what I believed they were even though it was one of the hardest things I had to do. He told me that he could understand what I had thought but he said he couldnt believe that I could think that he would cheat on me. He told me that I was the only one for him. We are getting engaged and this just happened to strengthen our relationship. We now know that we can tell each other what we are thinking no matter what it may be. I hope you have the best of luck and this is from a person who had a similar situation. i hope i helped
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 For me what i would do is do a little bit of investigation to get that extra confirmation that my partner is indeed cheating. All fingers point directly to this though but as you said you didnt really get the exact details of what the text was all about. She could possibly say it is from her female friends as i too write such to my girlfriends and get such from them as well.She can even claim that it is from an admirer which she has no interest to pursue. My point really is if you indeed want to get to the bottom of it all then snoop further when you are sure of all the facts then you can confront her.
Take care and i do wish you all the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Well, you have two choices. You either forget about these text messages and carry on like nothing happened, (but we both know that doing this will eat away at you and just make you more miserable) or....you sit her down and tell her what you did..the truth, the whole nine yards. Depending on the committment level, the love and the present state of your relationship, this confession of yours will either make or break your relationship. At least you get to hear what she has to say about it all. There could be denials and anger-you may be accused of invading her privacy and snooping. But I do have to say, there is something very disturbing about the fact she could be violating the intimacy and privacy of her own relationship with the man she is supposedly in love with(you), to send loving text messages back and forth from some other person, and then get angry because she got caught. If she does this, you toss the responsibility back into her lap. If she becomes angry with you for holding her accountable, you may end up losing her but then if she's stepping out on you--you will not have ultimately lost anything, for there wasn’t much there. You will have to evaluate the relationship but from my standpoint It sounds like your gf has other priorities besides you. How sad.
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