A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i don't know what to do. this is confusing and i dont even know but i need some support from people so I dont feel bad. It is such a long story but i'll make it short. my ex will not get rid of his ex. I think has abused me financially, sexually and mentally. After two years i decdied that even if im alone, and cant trust anyone, than thats better than being with him or any man. I changed my cell phone number and erased my aim account. becasue he does not understand that after two years, i could not deal with the ex and the abuse, i think. i deleted my email account too, becasue we were fighting and he said i would be sorry, becasue he thinks i have someone else or im out doing drugs. he said i made him mad and now ill be sorry. is that a threat? plus he send me pictures of his penis telling me how much he sucked in bed and how much a loser he is, which i am confused as what to say becasue that is not the point of why i dont want to be around him. well he will probobally screw me out of 12 thousand dollars and im scared of him becasuse i really have a hard time sticking up fpr myself and he has parents that give him money for lawyers and support him even when he does the wrong thing. I cannot pay this 12 thousand dollars and am afraid i will end up losing everything for being so stupid. i try to keep cool but i wonder if my life is over and if i should throw in the towel. i heard that one sign of being abused is fantasies of killing the person just to get rid of them, and being scared of them at the same time. plus i cant look at people in the face or talk to them. i wish i had someone to talk to about this so i could not be so confused and have hope that it will be okay.i cannot tell anyone becasue i cant trust any people in my life and plus dont wanmt people to know about the what i think is abuse. but really i am probobally used up and screwed over in the most possible way. for nothing. anyways i will be resonable and try to word things to the best of my ability and not jump around the board the best i can, but im really confused.
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (21 December 2008):
 He is trying to make you feel sorry for him. Yes you were threatened. He may or may not carry out any act of violence or mental duress against of you.Put your money somewhere that he can't get access to it even if you have to change banks or whatever.
He is trying to control you by guilt, threats and anger. This man is manipulative and you are correct in the assumption that he is a possible danger to your mental or emotional well being and also of your finances. He is in no way supportive and fact has and is USING YOU for his own gain.
Tell someone you can trust to keep and eye on you. Quite possibly the more people who know what he has done in making threats will help to deter him from carrying them out. You are going to have to get strong here and STAND UP for yourself. Don't talk to him, argue with him nor accept calls from him. If the threats continue try to get a witness and or taped conversation(secretly of course)or emails and text from phone. Keep these to show the authorities in case they need information and proof. Talk to a Pastor, Minister,Preacher or other clergyman. They often can give you ideas on what you should do to avoid this type of situation and help to intervien when appropriate.
Once you have done all these things , just try to let it lie for a bit amd see if the NO CONTACT thing will help you to push him away. Try hanging out in crowds and always keep an open eye to make sure he isn't stalking you. If he does then NOTIFY the POLICE Immediately!
I hope this helps.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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