A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 3 weeks ago and have been riding on an emotional roller coaster since. One minute I'm so happy and excited to be single and the next I can't believe what a great thing I threw away.Mine was an amazing boyfriend, he was caring, attentive, loving and always made time in his (very) busy schedule to be with me and I loved (love) him very much. However, he wasn't perfect. His personal hygiene left A LOT to be desired (to the extent that I would avoid being intimate in certain ways and didn't always feel entirely comfortable during sex). He also worked anti-social hours, so when I was up, awake and wanting to go out together for the day, he just wanted to stay in bed til 4pm (and did so most of the time). He was often very down and miserable and always ill, coughing and sneezing - these things really brought down my quite unbeat and enthusiastic nature. He was also very low on money (we're students) but he would often resent even paying for a bus fare or a cup of coffee for himself never mind me! I'm happy to pay my own way...So I just want to go out and do things and not worry, but I couldn't.Since we broke up and I cited all these reasons he said he couldn't believe how insignificant my reasons were and promised that he could entirely change all of these things. I don't know if I believe him, and anyway, I can't expect him to change his personality for me.So my question is, have I thrown away a good thing for nothing? Are these reasons the sorts of things that people who love each other just accept and learn to live with because nobody is perfect?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): My answer to you question is: well, maybe. the reasons that you broke up with him were obviously important to you. What is most concerning is that for whatever reason you weren't comfortable talking to him about these issues. It seems like he was clueless that these things were troubling you. Maybe next time be honest with your feelings and try to talk it out before calling it quits.
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