A
female
age
41-50,
*iredofbeinginlimbo
writes:I am trying to decide whether or not to leave my husband and would appreciate any advice. We have been married for 7 years and have a 5 year old daughter. Our relationship was a whirlwind romance, I met him when I was vacationing in Paris, we fell in love, and I moved to Europe to be with him. After I while I realized I didn't really know who I had married. I found out that he had kept things from me, such as credit card debt, and online porn addiction. Despite this, I stayed, afraid of what my family/friends would think, because divorce is unheard of in my family, and tried to work on things. About a year and a half into our marriage I found that I was pregnant. I told him, and his first reaction was "oh shit". So, how did that make me feel, pretty much what he had said. Parenting with him has been a challenge, we butt heads constantly on parenting methods and ideas. We can't talk about money, we have separate bank accounts now. I just don't know what to do, stay and hope it gets better, and I have seen some improvements with time, or give up and start over? I constantly think about getting my own place, and have put aside money if/when I decide to do so. How do I figure out what is the right thing to do? Gut instinct? Or are there some clear cut signs?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Well, I have been divorce for a long time. One thing I've learned in life, be independent and be strong. If this individual you are with brings out the worst in you, you already know he is not the right one for you. Spouse should most of the time treat each other with respect and tries to bring out the best in their partners.Do not worry about your child she will be fine, with a strong woman behind her, what can go wrong. Its hard but eventually we (women) always make it. Always write down your goals and imagine what you really want to see 5 to 10 years from now and never let go of that vision. Write down the pros and cons if you stay with him/ if you leave him. Sometimes what society think is right might not be right for us.
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