A
female
age
30-35,
*elleeashton
writes:dear cupid,im 19 and in college. "john" and i have been seeing each other for a couple weeks. he still goes out on the weekends and wants to see me during the week. he says he "likes what we are, talk all the time go out when we want and no title". usually i don't have a titled boyfriend and i have 2 or 3 guys that i go out with. he has trust issues and is afraid of an untrustworthy girl so i have dropped all the other guys thinking he wanted to date me. i dont even know why i want to date him because normally i dont want a boyfriend but he is different or he seems so. he is a genuinely nice guy or seems like it. he says hed rather hang out with me than party but obvioiusly not? im confused. if we dont have a title and he likes that then there is no strings attatched and i can go out with other guys too or can i not? im just confused and i dont wanna fall for him if our intentions are not the same can someone help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Listen, if there's no "label" or commitment from the guy, and he doesn't see you on the weekends, then YEAH, date all you want. If he's serious about you, he'll press to be exclusive with you and do the "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing. The fact that he doesn't want to put a label on your relationship is so he can play the field himself and keep his options open. In fact, don't tell him what you're up to when you don't see him. Is he asking you all the time what you do on the weekends? You'll find out how serious he is if he starts thinking that you're open to dating other guys. If he doesn't care, that's your answer regarding the future of the relationship. If it drives him crazy, the thought of you seeing other guys, then tell him that he won't have to fear if you two agree to be exclusive and apply the dreaded "girlfriend/boyfriend" label. :) You owe him NOTHING unless he takes that step with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Talk to him about it if you want to, but it sounds like he has a problem discussing the relationship with you, since he doesnt even want to title what you have. I think that there are no strings attached. He could be seeing someone else too. But if you really like this guy and think he's worth being exclusive with, I think its unfair that you stay exclusive while he does not. Or it could be he is seeing only you, but has commitment issues. Either way, there are several ways to being trustworthy. If there are no strings attached, you dating others at the same time doesnt make you untrustworthy. Just dont do it in his face out of curtesy, and dont lie to him or give him signs of you being .. untrustworthy. You know, no lying, no backstabbing, no gossiping around, none of that stuff. And then if he's ready to get over his fears and issues, perhaps you two could title what you have. Better be safe than sorry though! If you like this guy, make sure what the rules of the game are before you do anything.
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