A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some advice. I've been friends with a guy for a little over two months. From the moment I met this guy, I felt attracted even thought he isn't at all what I've wanted in a guy. We began hanging out as friends in a group with my other friends and I thought maybe he and my best friend would hit it off.Well, like most guys, he was somewhat interested in my best friend, but unbeknownst to me, she was already in love with someone else. Being a very sexual person, my friend did what I could never do and flirted shamelessly with our new friend. He took this as a green light. Before things progressed for them, I told her about my crush and she immediately told me to go for it. I ended up texting him and in a round about way telling him I liked him and, being the intelligent person he is, he suggested we get together one night. We did, and we had sex and it was very good. Jokingly a few days later, I asked him when we could do it again, he told me that he wasn't sure we should. He told me that he just "didn't feel it" with me, but he wanted to stay friends. This was completely fine, I'm used to guys not likeing me as a girlfriend, just as a booty call. I think I'm that girl that just knows theres one person for me and until I meet that person, I like having friends with benefits. When I basically told him that I wasn't proposing marraige, I just wanted some steady sex and I brought up the friends with benefits thing, he agreed.However, despite his agreement that we would just have sex and stay friends, I think he's giving me some mixed signals. I need your help with this. I'm not sure if I'm over-thinking it because I kind of do want a relationship or if his actions are normal.Since he agreed to be just a FWB, he texts me constantly. I've had FWB before and we mostly just call when we feel the urge and go to the other's house and get it on, we get dressed and go home. This guy texts me about how wonderful I was in bed and how he can't stop thinking about it. He asks about my day, he tells me all about his day. We're still friends in a sense that we hang out with my other friends, but he doesn't act like the others when we go out. Theres always me, my girlfriend, him and one of my best friends who is a guy and is like a brother to me. So its 2 guys and 2 girls. When we go out to eat, he makes sure to sit next to me. He'll find reasons to brush the hair out of my face. He'll put his hand on my thigh or over my shoulder and he'll reference our nights together. When we do get together to have sex, its never been a call to come over. When he normally just texts me about random things, he calls about our getting together. Since that FWB conversation, the way we get together is he'll call me and ask if I'd like to come over in the evening and tells me he wants to cook me dinner then watch a movie. I'll go to his place and we'll chat while he cooks and have a good dinner. Then we'll sit on his couch and he'll want to either snuggle, play with my hair, or just hold hands while we watch a movie. Then we'll move to the bed where we've actually just made out and fallen asleep together. Granted we'll have sex in the morning, but this is not a normal booty call! I mentioned earlier that he's not my type, I'm actually about 6 inches taller than he is and that normally freaks me out and is a flat out NO to me... I'm wondering if he DOES want a relationship with me but has the same type hangups about me as I normally would about him. We're not children, he's divorced and almost 40. I'm almost 30 but we're both single, childless, professional people. I don't know if he doesn't understand the concept of FWB or if he likes me but is fighting it.... Anyone ever have a similar experience? I'm not going to come out and ask him and my girldriend tells me to just let things be, if they progress, then they do, but I'm so tired of the possible mixed signals wondering if they're all in my mind. I just got back from his house after spending the night. I got off work late after he asked if I wanted to come over and he told he he would hold dinner and that I could shower when I got there then we would eat and watch a movie. We did, he let me bring a chick flick, and then he had to meet with some family this morning, he kissed me and told me to keep sleeping and that he would be back in a few hours. He left me asleep and woke me up with kisses and some really great sex.... Do you see how confusing this is?? Any ideas?
View related questions:
best friend, booty call, crush, divorce, flirt, friend with benefits, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (24 December 2008):
 seeing someone and having sex over a matter of time will eventually bring emotional ties and bonds, you can't get away with that no matter what label you put on it. You are doing what people in relationships do, it's more tha just sex you are doing other things that couples do. If you really don't want anything other than sex with this guy then you must stop right now because Im getting the feeling that he is gonna get hurt. He is acting like he is falling for you emotionally.
|
