A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidIt's a rhetorical question may be, but is there men who wants to build a relationship not just have casual sex. I have been dating for sometime and lost trust in male population as it is, everywhere I see people just want to have a causal one, either it's FWB or NSA , no one wants to get to know the other person. If there is not single want to cheat on wife and trying actively for that Where is this world going into? Is there really a genuine honest men in this world or it's going to be something only to wish for.I think I'm done with dating. Would love to hear the comments and also pls tell me I'm wrong, I desperately want to be wrong Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 March 2016):
This is easy stuff, and escapes so many. We are products of our evolution, with that, the inconvenient truth for many is that men are the gatekeepers of relationships (because of their commensurate resource commitment) and women are the gatekeepers of sex (because of their commensurate biological commitment.) Within those parameters, each will seek out the highest value mates they can.
With that, I can with biologically equate your title to a man posting "Are there any women out there who just want to have casual sex and not drag me into a relationship?"
The message is, if you want a high value man to commit to you you - you better have a very high market value yourself. If you just want him to have sex with you, the bar you can set for yourself is much lower.
A
male
reader, Galaham  +, writes (28 March 2016):
As stated by others, there are different men everywhere. And many more than you think also dreams of finding "the one" they can spend their entire life with. But with such a relationship comes hard work, responsibility, and perhaps less freedom in one way or the other. Not all people are ready to settle down immediately, especially at young age.For reference, I had a friend who was a bit like those men you describe. He had a lot of casual encounters, and just lived freely. But once, he met a woman who didn't let him have his way so easily. Now after 5 years they are married. And he does not miss the encounters he had before her.Another reference is myself. I never had the interest of casual encounters. For me, I have always tried to find someone I really like, and try to focus on that girl in hope of a life long relationship.As the other said, try look around in different social circles. Perhaps on a higher level than bars or parties.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (28 March 2016):
 With there being several billion men in the world, I am confident in stating there is someone for everyone out there.
In today's Tinder and hook-up culture a lot of the dating mores are all about getting laid. And for some people that's all they want and need. And many people are happy with that sort of relationship. While it isn't terribly "deep" or "meaningful" it does offer a sort of companionship that fits the needs of the moment.
There are still many men, however, that seek deeper connections. Just check out some of the more serious dating sites and you'll see that men clearly out number women.
Either you have had a string of bad luck or you might be looking in the wrong spots for a mate.
Guys do cheat on their wives -- and one could also argue women cheat just as much as men too. Sometimes people aren't capably of monogamy or there is another problem in the marriage that leads one partner to step outside the bounds to satisfy those needs. Sometimes they have a legitimate reason, and other times the reasons are fairly vacuous.
You have to remember, you are dating another human -- with imperfections, different needs / wants, and different expectations. Dating -- for all its evils -- is a way to get to know a person. And by all means, many people have to go through a lot of partners before they find their match.
Be patient with yourself -- it will happen. Continue to find things that bring you happiness that hopefully involve others. Social settings can be a great way to meet people. Also be sure that your baggage is minimal. Many guys (and women) don't want serious relationships because of the entanglements they bring: kids, exes, debts, bad habits, etc. The most all-together people usually find each other and those have the best chances of relationship success.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 March 2016):
 You're wrong. I've only encountered men like those you mention when out on bars. Bars and dance places are like a meat market, you are there primarily to get laid and nothing else. Also, on dating sites you will get those requests no matter how many times you point out in your profile that you are not interested in anything casual.
However, on dating sites, and elsewhere in the real world, there are men who are looking for something genuine. I have met, and dated, and been in relationship with, several of them! They are everywhere!
If you haven't come across a single man who is genuine about wanting a proper relationship, then rather than questioning the entire gender of males, you should question your own approach and where you are looking for these men. If you are always looking in the same spot, you are bound to only find the same types of men.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 March 2016):
 If what you are doing now isn't "getting" you what you are looking for switch it up.
Take a break from looking for a partner - go meet new people instead. You never know where that can lead.
If you have been trying dating sites - try something else. Like meetup group, take an adult class in something you like to learn, join a hiking group - SOMETHING you haven't tried before.
I can imagine it is frustrating looking for a long term partner and all you meet are guys interested in sex, nothing more.
I don't think you are entirely wrong, but I DO think there are guys out there who wants a long term partner and not just a sexual partner for the night or a few months.
It does seem like the whole "let's sex everything up" is in vogue and more traditional views are not.
Some people want to have "relationships" where they don't have to make a huge effort, just text and sex.
Know what you want and stick to your guns. I do think taking a break might be a good idea if you feel totally jaded. Little unfair to judge half the world population by XX amount of guys YOU have encountered.
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