A
female
age
30-35,
*inkRosesBloom
writes:I'm really curious about this...I've been hearing people talk about asexual relationships recently, and it gave me the idea to ask something a little less extreme. Are there any people who are in happy relationships, but they have sex infrequently and are still satisfied with each other and their sex lives? Also, are there any people who are in relationships where they don't do the really common sex acts like anal, oral, rough sex, toys, etc. and are still super happy together?
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female
reader, PinkRosesBloom +, writes (9 December 2013):
PinkRosesBloom is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for all the answers everyone. I'm glad to see there are relationships like that after all.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2013):
 I don't deem anal and rough as vanilla common sex to clarify that point.
It's important that the two folks in the relationship are on the same sexual frequency/type schedule... as long as both parties have a similar drive, then the frequency will be perfect for both of them.
where we get messed up is with folks who have differing drives.
A woman who wants sex twice a week is not going to be happy with a man who wants sex nightly or only once a month...
same for a man with a higher drive being with a woman with a lower drive although contrary to what popular culture portrays I find MOST of the time in marriages with folks over 40, the woman is the one complaining about the lack of sex (at least in my circle of friends)...
I think sexually vetting a serious partner is important.
we are all horn dogs early in a relationship...it's only after real life kicks in with work and daily living that we can start to figure out if we are sexually compatible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2013): Yes, it's very possible if they are on a same wave. My husband never wanted to have sex more than once a a week. He has a large penis, and I hurt sometimes after sex, get swollen and achy, so, for me it's perfect, once a week. We do oral, but we never used any toys or rough sex, or anal. He never even asked me for it, and even if he did, I wouldn't want it. So, yes it's possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2013): Of course there are. The issue is that both people in the relationship must have similar low sex drive for this to work. If it is only one person who has the low sex drive then no one is happy long term because each one feels they are giving up too much
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2013): Me and my boyfriend have never done anal (and never will), never had rough sex and never used toys. Wo do oral though. Both of us are completely happy.
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A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (7 December 2013):
 I think if BOTH partners are 'vanilla' and just want missionary sex once a fortnight then yes, it can work.
If one partner wants that and the other wants more, then probably not. One person in the relationship will always end up doing something they don't want to.
Sexual compatibility is very important, both partners need to have fairly similar expectations... and if that expectation is just 'normal' sex, then great. If that is bdsm then great. People just need to be on the same page for it to work and have a satisfying sex life.
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