A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me he was taking anabolic steroids after we had dated for about 4 months. Recently, he never talks to me, treats me like crap. Took back all of his promises he kept to me. I am moving 3 hours away in a few days and he used to promise me for 3 months that he would do whatever it takes to stay with me. He just ended a cycle a few weeks ago and started talking to this weird girl all the time and hanging out with her. He wont let me see his phone anymore, he is treating me terribly. He gets angry so easily. This is a guy who said he'd do anything for me. Now hes selfish and inconsiderate. We've been together 8 months and he has always been good to me up until the last month. Ive never done anything wrong in this relationship. Sometimes he used to get kind of like this after he finished cycles. Hes obviously cheating on me as well. There is no way im staying with someone like this. I heard from our friends that he lied and told them that we had broken up when we really had not officially ended anything, thats why he was hanging out with this girl. This was about 3 weeks ago. He also says he does not want a relationship with this girl, so what the heck is going on?! Hes always overwhelmed and busy with unimportant things. He never communicates anything to me. At this point it actually is kind of ridiculous to me. He has weird anger problems it seems like and it is just getting worse. He cusses at me through text sometimes, he never used to do that, only rarely when we argued. Is this the steroids or something else going on? I really dont care about the relationship anymore, yes it hurts but i feel like im saving myself from something bad. But what is the cause? Emotions about me leaving? or the things hes doing to himself?
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female
reader, Sandwhich  +, writes (19 August 2018):
Hello girl I had the same case with you....I was in a relationship of 6 years where he cheated 3 times...everytime was different and he regreted in the future....the third time...where I am now...he took steroids...we were happy like 2 months ago...but he started to fishiny other girl, a random one...started to hang out and treated me like crap. The thing about steroids your body starts to change for better and they become cocky and arrogant, they feel.like they are god on earth and they can have all the girls they want...guys are more imature than girls and in this case my ex didnt have is single life. He had always serious relationships since 18...and now he is 30....He asked me to break up and maybe He can see what he wants for life....and told me to do my own...and if someday he feels ready or not he are going to talk. I love him much and I accepted the best and worst of him...In your case 8 months....when your bf start to do pct He will think about what he did.... What i recommend isndo your life for now and let him do his shit....those things mess with the head and they become a douche, people who dont know how to control it. Love yourself...I know you love him but only with time things will happen....he needs to figure out the shit alone...maybe some weeks or some months...
A
female
reader, scared4life +, writes (6 June 2013):
I myself am a victim of a steroid abuser and can assure you they have a huge part on his behavior. Roid rage is not a myth and when the person already have issues with agression, control and temper they will affect them tremendously because of the false feeling of power they will give to the user. They are dangerous drugs even if used with control but when taken in high dosages especially when the person is stacking different types, they can become beasts, with no sense of remorse or guilt wich makes it ok for them to say or do anything to anybody, specially those close to them. My husbund has traumatizeded me for life during his last cycle ( second since we got married) and I have decided to leave him if he starts another one.He put me through hell during 6 months with verbal abuse, disrespect and cheating, even kicked me out of the house for the last 2 mths so he could have his "freedom" to do anything he wanted , specially on the computer with the online search, going after many different woman, sometimes in the same day using video chat to meet them first and then going in person. I have all the proof printed out from his computer (he doesnt know I do) but when I say I know everything he did he denies it at first and when I give some details like names and times things happened he defends himself saying we werent together. Now he is out since January and its the most loving and caring man in the world. Tells me he loves me and that he is happy again even though he gets depressed every once in a while as part of the PCT. Whe he was on all I heard was how unhappy and miserable he was feeling and that was all my fault. I was to blame for everything. He told me he felt like a wild animal in a cage (as in reference to our marriage) and he needed to see what was out there. In his mind all the women wanted him and he wanted to f^c^ all of them. His testosterone level was so f^^^ng high he was jerking off to porn all day and night if not with a woman. And that includes me if I was around before he kicked me out. Yes, steroids will make them do things they wouldnt do if they never took them. I still love him and I'm trying really hard to forgive all he has done but I'll never forget the trauma and definitely will not put myself through it ever again. He will have to choose this time before he starts again. Once they are on it it's too late to talk any sense in to them. Its like talking to a wall.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): you can't be in a relationship with someone who has made certain life choices for themselves that are at odds with your safety and well being. Such as, becoming abusive and unpredictable and undependable. in order to survive a relationship with someone like this, you'd have to keep yourself at a very far distance to protect yourself, and to not place any expectations on him at all. and what kind of relationship is this? what's the point of being with someone that you have to keep at a distance in order to protect yourself?he's probably a narcissistic jerk anyway even without the steroids. (why else would non-pro athletes take steroids if they have no real financial gain to have bigger muscles? it's for vanity or ego purposes ) .. then the steroids on top of that just make him completely irrational so there is no rhyme or reason to what he's doing.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 The term "roid-rage " comes to mind it refers to steroid takers that suddenly seem to lose control of themselves and inflict pain...might want to walk softly and be safe.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 October 2011):
 Steroids do more than mess with their minds.. it wrecks their bodies... But it does not make you lie..8 months is not a long time...3 hours away at your age is going to be difficult and I suggest that since he's on the 'roids (my brother did them for years and it was horrible for him and ruined his health for life) that perhaps you want to "take a break" and re-evaluate how this man is currently contributing to your life.NOT the man you want him to beor the man he was when on his best behavior to impress you but evaluate the man he is NOW.... and then decide if it's worth it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 I have heard several times that steroids can make people aggressive, moody and angry. BUT I have a theory, unscientific as it is , I have seen it at work many times " Cindy's theory " : ALL chemical substance don't radically change people , they just act as cathalyst and bring out the worst part in people, the one which is normally kept under lids by inhibitions, self control and wish for social acceptance. If you've got it inside, if deep down that's your nature, chemicals will help it come out, otherwise, they won't.That's why cocaine is supposed to make you hyper, yet I have met cocaine users who instead tended to be lazy, depressed and abulic under the influence. Or potheads are supposed to be mellow and easygoing, and I've seen quite a few angry, nervous , snappish ones.Conclusion: by Cindy's theory, your bf- or ex bf hopefully- would have been a major prick anyway regardless. His use of steroids just made it more visible.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (14 October 2011):
Yes definitely, I have enjoyed steroids in my time but have never used them whilst in a relationship because of the unpredictable nature of stronger emotions; massive highs during the cycle and depression and lows during PCT lasting a few months after.It sounds like he is all over the place. Perhaps his bad behaviour is a sign that deeper down, he does not want to be in the relationship with you? Nevertheless, absolutely steroids could be influencing him massively.
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