A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 years old, and I'm still a virgin. The only romantic experience I had was during my first year of university, which was basically just a kiss. I spent a considerable amount of time working out at the gym as a teenager, and managed to get into pretty good shape. Regardless, whenever I went to parties, girls basically just regarded me with pity. And I have no idea why. My question is, are some people just not meant to have a partner in life?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): Don't sweat it- I was 26 b4 i lost my virginity
still with the same gal
still....even with a serious gf for 4 years, it don't solve the rest of problems that plague my life, it just adds to them
so hope you are ready for that part...
cause then u have to step up and MAN-UP as they say lol
can't be care free and just enjoy life
so enjoy what time you have to yourself. its hard to come by when you are in relationship
ps- get girlfriend kiss paycheck goodbye before you even make it, or if you have a v8 gas-guzzler that will do it too
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): You said that you went to parties. Have you been to other places where there might be prospective girls, or are you limiting yourself to parties?
Think about your interests and where you might be likely to meet someone with similar interests... at a church, for example, a book club, a sports event, a continuing ed class, rehab (just kidding about that last one)?
I don't think that you're NOT meant to have a partner... you've run into some obstacles. Perhaps it would be helpful to talk to someone who can see the picture objectively and point out some things you may be doing that you're unaware of that could be obstacles. You sound like a great person. We all get shot down (rejected) sooner or later but that doesn't mean you're not a wonderful person. You can't take anything personally, because everyone is a different world that is really the sum of their life experiences.
More than ''I want a partner,'' think about the qualities you want in a prospective partner. I'm not saying that you're one of those people, but a lot of people have the default mentality, ''It's time to get married, so this person is available.'' What would make YOU HAPPY? When you pinpoint that, then look for someone with those qualities.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 I think that only those who don't want a partner in life don't have one. Otherwise, unless you're an axe murderer, you have just as much of a chance for love as any!
I was my husband's first girlfriend. Until I met him, he had never even kissed another girl. And he was really good looking, which blew me away when he told me about his romantic history.
I will say this -- *I* had to ask him out. *I* had to have the conversation about being a couple. He proposed to me, but not until he was sure that I was interested in that. In short, his caution and fear of rejection and not being good enough was classing him out of finding relationships. He was lucky that I have no problem taking risks myself. I still think he's the best guy in the world.
You need to take some risks. You can't just sit there like a wallflower and hope the girls come to you. You have to find someone you're interested in and ask her out. You have to face the possibility of her saying no. Then, you have to not allow that to put you in a cocoon of self-pity at being rejected. Girls do have it easier for the most part. We get asked out a lot. We get pursued more.
You need to go out and make it happen. Everyone has a shot at love. I've seen guys you'd think should never be wanted by another woman...ever....be busted for not only cheating on their wife (who looks really decent, by the way!), but with multiple other women!
Girls are regarding you with what you THINK is pity because of your demeanor. If you pity yourself, that's how they'll think of you. If you mingle, take time to talk to girls and ask them out or to dance or hang out or whatever, you'll never have to worry! Pity? Hard not to pity the guy with the smile and confidence and sense of humor who's just bought you a drink!
So go out there and get 'em! And...by the way...if you're no longer a teenager, don't trust on workouts from long ago to keep you in shape. Make it a lifelong habit! Your body will thank you profusely!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): Yes, there are some people who enjoy life without a partner,and it is meant to be; you however do not seem to be that type of person to me. The time will come when you will meet up with someone who will love you very much for who you are and you will meet them right in your own back yard type of thing like places that you naturally go for personal enjoyment and not at a place that you feel you need to go to meet someone either. If you like the science center and frequent there or a particular coffee shop near your workplace or a quiet topiary garden center or some club or church etc. that is the kind of place your future love will likely find you. It is really nice to be able to offer your future love a clean slate and he will so appreciate that when he sees how lovely and caring you are. Time is on your side still and I suggest just keep your eyes open, your love to be is out there and there may be more then one person later on to choose from. (That was a good question though!)
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