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Are Nicer Guys Attracted To More Natural Looking Women And Players To Less Modest Ones?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2021) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2021)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I recently "blocked and deleted" a guy who tried to neg and pit me against "high maintenance" looking women - the Instagram model types who wear a ton of makeup, etc. He would always bring up how hot he found women with what he called the "Instagram whore" look - he was also a player who rated women out of 10 and saved pictures of their online dating profiles to show his friends, and his friends and him were massive partiers so I wasn't feeling him. Funny thing is, I'm naturally pretty anyway and do wear natural makeup and dress nicely in an English rose way (lace dresses etc). He just liked the Kylie Jenner look.

Well, today I went out to the shops looking relatively slobby by my standards (no make-up, oversized short brown trench coat, loose green corporate trousers and trainers). I was feeling myself though and walked past a tall very handsome workman who stared at me for ages before remarking to his friends "class" (A compliment in the UK where I live).

Obviously there's no way of knowing if this guy was a nice guy or not (in fact I get tense around groups of guys like that in general). But it made me think, no WAY would a player type guy like the one I was texting ever have complimented me in a modest, natural outfit like that, especially to other guys. They like their women to look like sex dolls.

I have also worked retail previously where I wore a uniform two sizes too large, no makeup and a ponytail as per regulations. I have never been hit on so much by guys my own age and to be honest quite respectfully!

Do you think player type guys tend to go for girls with the Kardashian look, or the Instagram one with Botoxed lips, revealing outfits etc.? And nicer ones tend to go for more natural looking girls?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2021):

You are totally obsessed with image and looks - you need to rethink what a good and nice guy is all about. Any guy who only wants to date a woman ( or sleep with her ) if she looks good and does not care if she is decent, hardworking, honest, witty, reliable, caring etc is a plank. Why are you so keen to be admired by a plank? Is this how you choose a guy? Just by his looks and ignoring whether he is nice, honest, reliable, mature, good company etc? Jeesus. You need to rethink relationships my dear.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2021):

I think it is hard to make assumptions of that kind. I get where you're coming from and what you mean, however, I don't believe that there is a clear correlation. The way women chose to present themselves can't say enough about them to make assumptions about their character, and the same goes for men and non binary people. I've met shallow 'natural' looking women and self reflected women with full makeup and revealing clothes, and vice verca. I have met 'player type' men who are attracted to 'natural' beauty and 'nice guys' who like 'Instagram' beauty and vice verca. Just because a guy likes 'natural' beauty does not mean he can't turn out to be a player. 'Natural' looks don't guarantee self reflected personalities, nor can they guarantee to attract a certain type of character.

It might sound corny, but the only way to find out what kind of person (e.g. player type) someone is, is through their words and actions. The way people choose their words and what they say, the way they react and interact with others says a lot more about them than their looks. :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 June 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI think it has less to do with how a woman looks and more about how she acts.

A player usually looks for someone that he can pick up fast and drop fast. If a woman is willing to show her body off, follow trends, and copies other women who are known for their look (not their personality) known for their availability. Someone who is as SHALLOW and the player is. That is the bottom line.

Do nicer guys go for more natural-looking women? Some do. Some don't. I think a guy who is looking for someone to have something serious with, a future with is looking at the personality more than how good her contouring skills are and how many selfies she can post on IG.

As for the guy who kept "neg and pit me against "high maintenance" looking women" - well good for you to block and delete him, what's the point in talking to such a lame and shallow dude?

Also, your profile has you as male... You might wanna change that.

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