A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I paranoid or are people selfish? I recently had a road traffic collision and as a result I was prevented from doing my usual sports or activities by my wife and mother, physically I was fine. They both said I shouldn’t drive for my health just to recover mentally, so I wasn’t allowed to be independent. Yet 12hours later I was asked if I could drop and pick my mom off as requested. My wife said I shouldn’t see friends and avoid driving, yet the next day she wanted me to drive her an hour somewhere. Now I’m confused. Are they REALLY looking out for me? Surely if they did care they would put effort in to travel without asking me? And give me this rest and mental break from driving as they so badly enforce? Only different here is I lost my independence because I’m taking advice from them. Or alternative is let me get on with my routine so I feel normal as well as giving them lifts which I do not mind.What has thrown me off is, why ban me and than only ask me to drive when needed? It’s made me question how many decisions I make thinking it’s the best for me when it’s not. Your thoughts? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2020): There's another explanation. After the accident they were freaked out and over reacted telling you you can't drive etc etc. The next day (seeing as you had no injuries) they realised that maybe they were being silly. Personally, I think it's a bad idea to stop driving unless you're injured because the sooner you get back in the car the less likely you are to develop any phobias of driving.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2020): They're using what I call "convenience-psychology."
"You might hurt yourself doing that, unless it's being done for my benefit." The point is to allow them to decide what's best for you, for now. You're a dumb-male, you're not supposed to be aware...it's meant to confuse you!
It maybe that they're just minimizing your driving alone for the time-being; and it gives them a clear conscience knowing one of them is with you; should you have a panic-attack, or sudden disorientation. It happens with drivers in recent accidents.
Mostly, they want to keep an eye on you, have you available on-call; and minimize your hanging-out with your buddies. That's the definition of "convenience-psychology!"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 January 2020):
 I think you should ask them.
Seriously!
It makes NO sense to suggest that you do not drive and then ask you to drive them places.
While I DO agree with them that NOT driving for a few days (and after a check-up from the doctor if need be) I think it's contradictory that they ONLY wanted you to not drive UNTIL they needed a ride.
And not driving for a few days doesn't mean you LOSE your independence, don't be dramatic, OP - it just means that for a few days you take a break from driving.
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