A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 40 years old and lives in my parents house. I pay rent and my parents spend most of their time in their RV on road trips and at their fishing camp in another state. So they are only at their house when they have doctor's appointments, and when they evacuate for hurricanes (they stay at the house instead of their fishing camp or RV). I'm single and have never wanted to get married or have kids.My brother and his family lives about 2 hours away. I am close to my brother, nieces and nephew.I have the money to buy a small condo that is close to my brother's house. I still be able to spend time at my parents house to help them out when they are on their RV road trips so it won't be an inconvenience to them. I just know that my parents won't live forever. They are healthy and see doctor's (primary care doctor, dentists, est.) regularly. So I am talking about "nobody lives forever" planning ahead. I just enjoy the idea of being around family (my cousins lives 9 hours away on farms and I don't want to own a farm). Is my plans reasonable? Should I talk to my parents and brother about my plans?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2024): If you can afford it your plan sounds fine. Why WOULDN'T you talk to your family about it? Are you expecting some resistance from them?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2024): Your plans are your plans, but since they involve others, meaning that you have certain expectations, you should:
1. be sure about why you're moving, how you imagine your life after the move
2. talk to them about it
Maybe your brother will be thrilled (you said you were close), but he has to know how you see your life after moving closer to him. Do you imagine being invited to family lunches/dinners regularly, would you expect them to come visit you on regular basis...?
Also, would they have any expectations from you?
A friend of mine is single and has no kids. Whenever she visits her sister and her husband (who live in another country), which is a couple of times a year, they expect her to babysit their twins while they go out on their own. Needless to say my friend is not thrilled about this, but she believes having to say it would provoke arguments and accusations that she doesn't like her nieces. I told her to talk with her sister.
So there you go.
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