A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I stop being jealous of 2 of my friends?Basically I used to be best friends with one girl (A) throughout school we then went onto college where a another girl(S) we went to school with was in our class and I quickly became friends with her but still had the friendship with A. However over time S used to tell me things that A had said about me in which put me off and we slowly drifted apart but my friendship with S is really strong and we are what you'd consider best friends.Now those 2 have come closer and meet up without inviting me or the other 2 girls who are in our close cirle, they seem to disappear together on nights out or when we're shopping she'll ask me for an opinion but then constantly take A's opinion over mine.I used to see S alot during the week, she'd come round after work but now this all seems to have stopped. I try to talk to A or arrange something to do but S will try and get in the way and prevent it from happening - its like she doesnt want me and A to be friends.Am I being pathetic?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): It sounds to me like 'S' has come into your world and is creating conflict between all involved. I would not only be questioning 'S's intentions, but also closing the door on this person.
Having said that, you will have to put faith in your friendship with your long term friend 'A' who will also have to find her way through 'S's bullshit and issues.
The friendship apparently is being tested and the bottom line is that if one really exists 'A' will find her way back to you.
Sometimes friendships fall apart; it's a fact of life. We are not meant to walk the journey beside everyone we meet along the way.
The following passage may be helpful and I personally have found a lot of truth in it.
People come into our lives for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into our lives for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
Good Luck to you!
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