A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very disappointed and let down by my supposed male friend who is gay and who has a boyfriend. I have known him for 15 years. He is aware that I do not have any family or support where I live and knows that I did not want to be alone on Xmas Day. He has told me before that I should consider him to be my family now.He is arriving to Perth on the 19th December and I asked him whether I could possibly spend Christmas Day with him. He has always said that he didn't want me to spend Christmas Day alone.Initially he said that I could spend Christmas Day with him and his family.I then got a phone call from him the next day saying that his parents do not want to celebrate Christmas due to his Mother dying 6 months ago, however they were going to have a Christmas get together Xmas morning for breakfast as they weren't going to do a lunch. He said that he could see me Christmas afternoon around 2pm. He then changed the time to around 4pm. Are my feelings warranted of feeling a bit disappointed after he said that I could join his family for Christmas?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Where is your family? How come you can't spend the holidays with any of your relatives?
Given the circumstances, I think you should cut him some slack. The holidays aren't always so cheery for everyone. His family most likely can't bring themselves to put on a happy face for any guests. Their Christmas isn't going to be so merry, and they wouldn't want to bring down your cheer as well.
We're still a little ways from Christmas, so plans may change again.
Do you not have any other friends to spend Christmas with? I agree with Honeypie in volunteering your time to maybe a soup kitchen to feed the homeless, maybe the elderly in nursing homes, or terminally ill children. I've helped the needy on Christmas Eve and it's very rewarding to make someone else's Christmas special.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2011):
 I understand his family and how they feel, after all they are still in mourning, I think you need to think about that before you think about not wanting to be alone. He is trying to make everyone "happy".
Is there anyone else you know whom you could spend it with?
For some people Christmas is VERY family oriented for others it is not.
If you can't find someone, why not volunteer somewhere? You won't be alone and you will do something nice for others. Rather rewarding.
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