A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so things with my best guy friend of about 4 years (I have known him since we were babies) have recently got more complicated. A few years ago our relationship was sort of flirty but nothing ever happened between is and then it fizzled out. However now we are older things have changed. When I go out he always makes sure I got home okay and will call me if I seem upset or im in a bad situation until I fall asleep. He recently sent me some messages while drunk which said that he was questioning our relationship and what it was and so I asked him what he meant. We had a long conversation about how we feel and have established that we have a great connection and both have feelings for each other but I said that nothing would work as he goes to university a few hours away to which he said 'you never know' and 'what will be will be' which left it very open ended. Recently it was Valentine's Day and he texted me two days after with 'happy Valentine's day btw' and got really awkward about the topic but why wold he start a conversation with it if he was going to be weird about it? And the other day was the anniversary of his mothers death in 2001 so I texted him to let him know I was thinking about him (even though we never talk about it) to which he replied 'thanks Iz, it's really nice to hear it from you especially' and I feel like he is putting me on some sort of pedestal as someone who means more than others which I find v confusing. Thanks for listening to my ramble and I hope you can give me some guidance on how to deal with this as I don't want to damage our friendship as our families are best friends and we go on holiday together a lot.
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female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (22 February 2016):
Hi there,
I honestly think that it's great that you two have feelings for each other and that you're best friends. It's literally every person's dream to be with someone who is also their best friend.
I don't see a problem with the two of you having a relationship since both of you like each other and have known each other for a long time. The fact that he studies quite some distance away could always be circumvented these days, what with Skype and Google Hangouts and all of that. Plus if you live close to his home then he could come see you every time he came home.
I understand that your concern about it getting awkward if things don't work is valid, but the thing is that you're already planning for the demise of this relationship before it even begins. If the both of you are mature adults then you should be able to get over it and even possibly be friends later on. But that is *if* this relationship doesn't work out.
And there is a good enough chance that it will work out too. If you both are mature then you could have a wonderful relationship.
But finally it depends on the two of you. You have to think whether you want this or not. Because if not, then you might have to cut back on the contact for a while, otherwise you won't be giving yourselves a chance to get over your feelings.
All the best.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (22 February 2016):
 You haven't really said what outcome you would want from this. Whether you would like this to become something more or not is fundamental to how you proceed. Remember you are part of this to. Life just doesn't happen to you. You play a part too.
So, please give this some thought and post again here. On the 'QT' I think you are quite pleased.
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