A
male
age
41-50,
*umpmancol
writes:I have been dating a girl for nearly a year, and a few months ago, we found out she was pregnant. Prior to this we had been shopping for rings, and talking marriage. Ever since we have found out, she has been a lot more distant, and extremely sensitive about the marriage issue. I thought it was due to the fact that I hadn't proposed yet, so while we were on vacation a few weeks ago, I popped the question and she said yes. Now however I am thinking she may have said yes to not hurt me. She has no intention of setting a date until after the baby is born (I am thrilled about it btw), and refuses to move in together before we are married. I am worried about not being able to see my child all that often after it is born, but I am not sure if this is reasonable. Would this just be hormonal changes going on with her, or potentially something more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): It sounds a bit hormonal to me. I think she probably wanted you to propose earlier and you have done it when you are ready. If i was her i would want to wait until after the baby is born now, just so i looked good, had my figure back into shape etc. If you get married before the baby is born then she will feel fat and ugly, sorry, but that is how i would of felt, maybe she is different. If she wants to get married after the birth, and move in with you then, then i think you have to respect her wishes. I dont think she loves you any less, just the fact that womens bodies (mine was like this) go through a lot of change, both in size and hormones at this time. Just be patient, love her and be there for her at all times. Let us know what you have.
take care and i wish you both well with the new baby and your future marriage.
xx
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 It is very likely hormones are doing their thing. Every woman is different, but all women are affected by hormonal, emotional and, obviously, physical changes during pregnancy. Read some baby books, look for information on the web and try to be as supportive as possible.
Even with all of these, there is no way of knowing until after the baby is born if there is something else bothering her. In all reality you've been together for only a year and having a baby is a major adjustment in any relationship. Difficult, but its been done before! Just to play safe, don't push her into making serious decisions or talking about a wedding which usually brings a lot of stress.
Best of lucks!
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