A
female
age
30-35,
*uggles
writes:Ever since I moved a great distance and had to break of with my first boyfriend(we were together a long time), I have bad relationships. It seems I attract all the wrong guys. I first relationship after moving ended badly because he is much less social then I am and he is also an extreme racist and everything has to be done his way. The next was a guy a few years older then me that decided not to inform me that he had a girlfriend. It turned out that he actually stalked girls for months if they didn't talk to them and was overall extremely creepy. After that I made the mistake of dating someone a few years younger then me and he had extreme anger issues and technically wasn't even aloud to date me. After that the guy I dated wanted to marry me after only dating for three weeks. The one after that was horrible to me and only wanted me to feel bad and do whatever he wanted. In the end the school had to step in and harassment claims were made(Yes, I am a teenager, no longer in high school now though.) A few months after that it was guy that also wanted to marry me and named our future kids. Why is it that I my relationships turn out so bad? Will this change once I get older? Are college guys any different(I start college in the fall.)?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): It sounds like a typical, active youth to me. You're getting to understand yourself, and in the process are meeting people that, in the end, don't turn out to align with your values. You're doing great, don't worry. If you haven't already, you'll soon be able to spot red flags with abusive or obsessive people earlier, before any relationship gets too far. You'll find the right one, just be honest, stand up for yourself and work hard. Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Take your existing high school classes and subtract the kids who you don't think are going to college. What do you have? Its not as different as you probably hope but its a bit different. The average student does not suddenly wake up and become more serious about life just because they moved up a notch in the education system. But the most self-destructive ones do get weeded out so that changes the tone somewhat.Remember how the first year of high school seemed like high school at the time, but looking back now you realize you were all still kind of mentally stuck in middle school? Well that goes on in college too. Lots of people discover alcohol and do A TON of stupid stuff before they learn to manage it in their second year. And some never learn. As for maturity and boys, don't wait for it magically happen. The maturity difference in the bodies of males and females is barely 1-2 years, and it applies to middle school ages not 17 or 20. Boys are different from girls and they always will be. Don't expect them to hit some magic age and wake up acting more like you wish they did. They aren't all immature all the time, they are just different creatures from girls in certain ways. Girls tend to blame it on immaturity because the rationale allows them to feel superior and doesn't force them to accept the differences for what they are.I'm not saying this to discourage you but you need to look for boys who act like you want and don't let the age group affect your decision. There are immature 25yo men and there are 14yo boys who are very mature, you just have to look for it. Take a moment and really think about what a mature teenage boy would act like. Are you really looking for that? The truth is teenage boys usually dont get much female attention or interest when they act mature. Girls generally pay them more attention when they act immature. Teenage girls almost always SAY they want mature guys, but their actions are usually saying something else. Boys are responding to girls actions, not their words.
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A
female
reader, Sakari2  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 In my own experience, No. I thought this too - there has to be better guys in college and in all fairness there is but they are usually people different to your regular group if you like. Everyone goes through bad relationships/experiences etc hopfully this will make you a better judge of character so next time you can find a genuine guy! But there will always be some who remain immature etc. Don't give up, hopfully you can mix with a wider range of people for college there are some good amongst the bad.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Well, as you are probably aware, it typically takes boys a bit longer to mature than girls. More likely than not, you will meet more mature men in college. Luckily, individuals with more education tend to be a bit more sound minded--though there are still some "crazies" in there as well. My suggestion to you would be to focus on your studies while in school. If you focus on your studies and engage in programs, extracurricular, and social activities that you enjoy or are related to your studies, you probably have a pretty good chance of meeting a decent guy. It is also important to consider the environment that you are meeting these individuals at. If you are meeting the same "type" of people you don't like at the same place, that is a good indication to look elsewhere. If you are looking for a respectable long-term relationship, I would advise staying away from clubs.
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