A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Suppose you have been friends with someone for a long time (eg,months or years) and the person sees you as a friend but has never had romantic feelings for you.If you've been friends for a long time but this person doesn't have feelings for you, could they possibly fall for you in the future?I would like to hear from people who have had similar experiences. I can accept an honest answer but it would be great to hear from people who have been through this. Did someone eventually fall for you? Or was the chemistry just not there?When can you be certain, or almost certain, that you don't have a chance with someone, EVER?Thanks if you can help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Thornbirds  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 I suppose you're falling for a long time friend ( wink).It is a mixture of exciting and painful experience if all of a sudden, out of the blue, you find yourself falling in love with a long time friend without his knowledge.To act and behave normally so he won't notice any difference on how you treat him is an ordeal itself. You try to conceal your feelings, but being so near yet so far is heartbreaking because you care so much, but you're afraid to show it.You give meaning to every little things he say or do..very funny, indeed. These are the little consolation you can give yourself..
Is there any hope it will go further than this?
Of course! Many couples started out as just being mere friends, then became close friends, and end up into marriages. Would you like being noticed by your friend? Don't flirt. It's a turn off. Your friend might not be ready for your revelation. Give more attention to him, listen more,but don't make sudden changes. Show him in a subtle way that you can be a potential gf. Who knows,one day, he'll wake up thinking more about you, wanting to spend more time with you, etc.
Will it work? It depends if he is in a relationship. If he is,the hope of being noticed is slim,but I hope it would help you feel a little better.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 My best friend of four years fell in love with me there at the end. It was a mess.. he already had a gf, I already had a bf. He said just after knowing me for so long and loving me as a friend, he just couldn't help but fall in love with me for every reason he wanted to be friends with me.
It wouldn't have ruined our friendship, if he hadn't pursued me after I told him I was not in love with him. He started to get jealous of other guys and he got so needy. Then he started trying to get physical with me, so I cut it off with him.
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