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Any way to handle this situation quietly and brush this guy off?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi - need some advice. I'm a first year university student and I recently applied for an internship at a gallery which I really want and need. I'm doing a history of art degree and without appropriate work experience, nobody will employ me at a higher level in the history and art industry, even with my degree - so that's why it's really important I get this internship. I got speaking to a whole load of people from the gallery I've applied to and it was going really well and they've asked me to meet them for an interview to discuss the internship - the interview is later this week. However, one of the guys who I got chating to has added me on facebook and has quite literally become obsessed with me. At first it was just friendly and helpful so I added him back - talking about art, talking about why the internship was important to me, talking about what I've studied in my degree so far, and I genuinally thought he was trying to find out more about me to see if I was suitable for the internship. He then started saying he thought I was perfect for the job a would put a good word in to the managing director for me, who will be interviewing me - I thought this was also just him doing his job and scoping me out to see if I was suitable. But then it started getting really weird, like asking me out for drinks constantly, everything he was saying was laced with flirting, and it's starting to make me feel a bit awkward. He's 40. I'm 19. I've said to him I'm not wanting to date anyone right now but he still keeps going - asking me out, trying to find any excuse to meet up with me and its really starting to weird me out. He's beingvery friendly to me but I'm really not interested in my reationship with the gallery being anything other than work related. I don't know what to do. There's a very good chance I'm going to get this internship and I'm worried there's already problems - through no fault of my own - waiting on the other side. I don't want to have to work in an awkward environment and worse still, if this gets out that he fanices me - I don't want other staff at the gallery thinking I got the position simply because of that and not because I was the right person to be the intern. The guy who is flirting with me is also very senior in the gallery and in the back of my mind I'm worrying if I upset him, I can kiss goodbye to the internship and all the opportunities which could go with it. Please help. I've worked really hard to get to this point with my degree and I really want this but don't know how to deal with this unwanted attention without blowing my chances professionally speaking. Is there ayway I can just handle this quietly and brush him off?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009):

hmm by the sounds of it he isnt going to give up easily and i doubt you will be able to 'brush him off' so in this case i think the best thing to do would be to go back to the gallery and explain to the other people who decide who gets the internship what your situation is, tell them how important it is to you and your worries about the problems this guy is causing, they can't possibly not take your side, especially since he is a 40yr old man and had no business asking a 19yr old out.

hope this helps

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