A
male
age
51-59,
*rishcherokee4u
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now. In the beginning I was told she was divorced , that I was the first guy she had been with , she had several dates but nothing else. It would never bothered me even if she had been with others because that was before us. Later on I found out she wasn't divorced and have also seen internet conversations with other guys. Where the guys would mention how they wanted to be with her again. She would reply by making excuses instead of telling them she was in a relationship. Also have seen messages from her ex talking as though they were trying to work things out. I started having these feeling from the beginning that there was more than meets the eye. But anytime I try to bring anything I have seen or know she gets mad and tells me none of it is true. I myself became closed off because my ex wife cheated on me and I began talking to other women at times and she found out by spying on my computer. Not saying I'm innocent. Just felt as though well not sure at times. I love this person very much just don't know what to think.
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cheated on me, divorce, ex-wife, her ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, gabba's say  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Some women just love getting mens minds jealous. They feed off the Jealous energy like some sort of phsycic vampire. She is using you to feul her ego as she sounds like she may be a bit insecure. (and cruel)
A
male
reader, irishcherokee4u +, writes (21 February 2008):
irishcherokee4u is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. She tells me that I am the only one she wants and gets upset when I try to approach her on the subject of her male friend. I have asked she not talk with him, even if she claims the remarks he makes are nothing or just a joke. They still bother me. Just resently I was chatting with an old female friend who contacted me after 2 or 3 years and she saw this and went off because she felt as though I was cheating on her. The friend brought up when her and I last saw one another and I replied that I remembered and it was hot. But she also knew I was in a relationship and I wasn't looking to start anything new with her. My girlfriend and I have been discussing these issues and I have admitted to my faults but when I mention anything I know of her friendships , she gets very defensive and tells me she will talk with him anytime she wants.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 Hi ,
It looks like she is keeping her options open or at the very least indulging in flirtatious behaviour.
As her boyfriend of 4 years you deserve to know where you stand, is she going back to her husband? If not why the serious emails? If she had a few flings before meeting up with you she should have broken contact after you started dating if the tone of the conversations remained sexual.
It sounds like she has some commitment issues and you need to find out where you stand and not just accept her arguing and shrugging you off.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (21 February 2008):
 I think that you should be very careful with this women. Obviously she is hiding something if she keeps lying. It is going to be very hard to maintain a relationship with some one who lies about small things. When will you ever be able to beleive her? I sugggest that you emphasize how important honesty is to a relationship and hope that she decides to be honest and you work things out from there.
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