A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has a friend who I've known for 5 years now. Now this friend is currently 21 and has never had sex. Actually she has never had a boyfriend or even been kissed before. This is common knowledge for anyone who had met her because she's just so innocent. She's too innocent. In Canada, our drinking age is 19 and she still hasn't ever gone to a bar. The only time she drinks is if her parents are around. She won't go camping with her friends if there are boys around. And whenever she wants to make plans, it always includes watching tv at her house and it's always specified to be 'just girls'. It's like knowing a 12 year old in a 21 year old's body. Basically, he life consists of work, school, seeing us once in a blue moon, and watching tv and movies. We've asked her before what kind of boys she likes and she never gives a definite answer. I mean, even if she's a lesbian, that's fine, but she needs to go out and try new things. She's missing out on so much. My girlfriend has tried everything to get her to live a little and nothing has worked. Do any of you have any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Sounds like this girl knows her boundaries and wants to go at her own pace. Just because YOU don't think she's living her life the 'right' way, doesn't mean she's not happy. You don't know her past; maybe she's had a bad experience with a guy and is cautious about hanging out with them now.
She probably just wants to stay focused on school right now, and you guys should leave her alone to do what SHE wants. You've said your piece, and now she has to make the decision for herself.
A
female
reader, s.a.r.ah_ +, writes (11 December 2009):
lmfao
try and introduce her to some of your friends?
as long as there not jerks.
make sure there nice guys, not only wanting sex, but guys that are caring, responsible or whatever else.
Dont introduce her to your friends that are only looking for a good time tho, cus she'll probably blame you for hooking her up with somebody like that.
The way you described her, it seems maybe she doesnt want to be hurt? or maybe shes intimidated by people that drink and have a good time because maybe shes shy and doesnt think she could ever do something like that.
Try and make her comfortable around people, and once you feels she comfortable around one group of people, ask the whole group out to a bar, if she sees that the people shes gotten to know & feels comfortable around want to go, maybe she'll give it a try.
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