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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 and my boyfriend Joe is 15. We met when he was 8 and I was 9 at school. We hit it off at school and started doing group things together and then eating lunch together. A year later Joe's parents were looking to move to a new neighborhood. After some searching they ended up moving into the same neighborhood that I and my family live in. This helped our friendship grow. We started spending more time together after school. We would often hang out, watched tv, and do our homework together at one of our houses. It is more fun to work on homework with some one else. We enjoyed fun times during the summers. About two years ago we started doing other things like taking walks in the neighborhood and in parks, and going to the mall together. We enjoy talking and spending time together. A bit later we started holding hands during our walks. About a year ago he asked me if I had ever been kissed. I said no. He said that he thought I was beautiful and would like to. I said he was cute and asked him if he had ever been kissed. He also said no. We then started talking about kissing. About a week later we had our first kiss. We then talked about it and what we liked about it. Since I am 16 and have my license we enjoy other things we do together with me driving the car. We still take our walks together. We often head for a private place in the park and talk, kiss, and make out. We enjoy this time together. About 6 months ago Joe asked me what I thought of sex. It first I thought he was joking in a way boys do. He then he said that he was not and he really wanted to know. This opened up this subject. In later talks we talked about this subject. We both said that we were carious about it and never done it. He said that he wanted me to be his first. At this time I asked my older sister about how to know when sex is right in a relationship. She said that sex is a big step in a relationship and needs trust. Joe has proved his trust to me. He has said that he feels that we are ready for sex to enter our relationship. He says that he wants it when I am ready and he does not want to push me. He says that he will wait until I am ready. My older sister also said that you have to be able to talk about sex with each other before you know that having it is right. I then thought about a test to see if he was for real. I asked him to read some books about sex and tell me what he thought. After that we started looking at books together. About a month ago we started looking at books that had pictures of sexual positions and talking about them together.I think we are to the place where we are ready to have sex in our relationship. What do you think? We cannot think of reasons why we should not have it. We have not seen each other naked yet. Any information about starting out? We both agree that our first time is special and should not be done in a car. The park is good for making out but not a good place for sex. Where should the first time be? Any information about finding a place and time for sex? When starting out should he come and find me naked or is undressing each other part of the experience that should not be missed? How can we make our first time special? Any information about best positions for first time sex? How can we be sure that it is a way of showing our love for each other and not simply just sex? Joe says that he would like to give me an orgasm. Can this be during the first time? Am I able to help him give me one? How will I know when I am having one? What information do you have about having them? Thanks
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female
reader, BaileeKS  +, writes (24 August 2008):
i think it is great that you two have talked it over especially because your so young. i too am 15 and lost my virginity about two weeks ago. we weren't dating or anything just two very good freinds. it was after he got off work and we had both had really bad days so we met at his apartment and he had set up a bunch of blankets in his backyard. we were lying there talking and one thing led to another and we did it. personally i thought the whole taking each others clothes off was part of the experience and was overly fun. one thing i worry about is the both of you being virgins and the fact that you have only been with each other. i agree with anyone who says it would be very special for you to lose your virginity together, but it could also be a bit awkward. also if you've never had anything else, how do you know if its your favorite? Good luck to you!!
o, and use protection. one test to know if your ready or not is, if you cant go to the store and buy condoms because your embarressed or something, your not ready or responsible enough to have sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): To me it sounds like you are planning to far ahead when it comes to what you do...some of the best sex is spontaneous. You plan every detail then you are more likely to be disappointed. The only thing you should really plan is being safe and making sure you have condoms!
How are your parents about this? I am a mother of 3 and I know when my children get to this age I'll be happy for them to have a partner over. I'd rather they were safe at home then in a park or alleyway.
As for orgasms, I personally experience a few different kinds of orgasm, the fun is in learning about them. You will know when you've come. I think masturbating is a good idea too. How is your partner supposed to work out what you like, where you want to be touched, if you don't know yourself?
You clearly love and respect each other, sex doesn't just have to be about expressing love, sometimes it is, sometimes not. Sex is also fun just for the sake of it.
Good luck!
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