A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! Maybe you can help me understand. I met this guy online about 6 months ago. We met for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I could tell throughout the whole date he seemed different, maybe I looked different than he pictured, maybe he was just nervous or disappointed or I dont know. But at the same time, he kept putting his hands on me. Either way, I figured I would know how it went in the days after. Since then, we only talk online, for like a minute. He says he wants to go out again, but I have a strong feeling he doesnt want to and is just leading me on for some reason. Anyway, what could have gone wrong on the date to make him do a 180? Should I keep trying to contact him or just forget it (although I dont want to)? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (8 March 2006):
 It's up to you because Happytochat gave a really good answer...but.
If he expected to sleep with you and that was really all he was after and you did not put out....or did...then he won't call or ask for a second date. He was possibly never planning a second date. (6 months seems a long time to develop a one nighter...but it does happen. With internet dating,He can simultaneously develop 6 or eight at the same time.)
Or maybe the chemistry just was not there for him...or he's embarrassed at his own behavior...or he met someone he likes better. All of these could also be reasons for him not to call as well as shyness.
If you want to try again...do what Happy says. But don't expect to much and it did not have to be about YOU that he stopped wanting to talk. (Sick family members Do happen and change priorities...among a world of other things)
If he is not interested....so be it....So what... and the next bus will be by in 15 minutes.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (8 March 2006):
This guy could of been very well and most likely just nervous on the date. That is probably why he wasnt 'acting' the same way he was on the net. And the reason why he hasn't really talked to you much since the date? I can't answer that for you, I don't know. But I can see how you must be very confused. Hes telling you that he WANTS to go out again but at the same time hes not puting his thoughts into actions, like setting a date is he? He could just be still shy, or maybe hes just trying to see how keen you are, by leaving it yup to you.
Should you just forget him and move on? My Answer is NO! Sicne there is no clear 'evidence' that he isnt itnerested because he could very well be, then you should keep tryhing. I'm a big believer in that love takes work and effort and if you really like someone, give it EVERYTHING you've got! Put all your effort and imte into it, to get what you want. THen if it doesn't work, then it wasnt meant to be. Atleast you arent left thinking 'well what if i did this, then maybe it would of worked out'. This way you would have a clear answer whether it was meant to be.
Ask him out again. Suggest a time, date and place. And see what he says. Also maybe to make him feel less pressured int operhaps saying yes to a date he doesnt want, just say 'if you dont want to go out wiht me, tell me now and save future problems. I would really appricate it that you be honest right now' or somethign along those lines- but in your own words. That way he knows that its ok to be hoenst. and thats what you want.
goodluck and I hope it al works out for you in the best way possible :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I think he was expecting much more from you, than you gave him on your first date. The fact that he kept putting his hands on you meant that he most probably wanted to sleep with you, and when you didn't he is probably wondering if you ever will, that is why he is acting distant and not extremely keen. How were you on the date? If you were equally into him then maybe I am wrong, but if you were not responding to his touches maybe he thought you didnt want to sleep with him, that is why he cooled off.
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