A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I recently found out that my boyfriend slept with his ex girlfriend 3 months into our relationship... when I asked him about it he lied to me but I then found out for myself and he admitted it and said he was so scared to tell me coz he didn't want to lose me... the worst thing is before I found out we had been amazing... literally I had met his parents and had spent christmas at his parents, I had been introduced to his whole family and was literally the new daughter in law in the family...We were great together and funnily we still are... he is at the moment pleading with me to stay and give him a chance, I can see he loves me so so so much and is doing everything in his power to reassure me that I am the only girl he wants... he regularly keeps me updated with where he is and who he is with... I can see he is doing everything in his power to make this work... the worst thing is his job involved him being around pretty girls all the time and he is willing to give that up for me... in order to give me the reassurance I need.. he says anything I say he will do.I really truly wanna give him another chance but I have no idea how to... or even where to start... all I know is I don't trust him at the moment.. I wanna rebuild that but as I said I don't know where to start or how this will work out... any ideas on how I can give this another go?
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christmas, ex girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we have been together almost 10 months now and this happened on the 2nd month.. he was with his ex for 4 years and got with me 3 months after they split up... i know its not a rebound thing and i know how much more he loves me now...It wasnt a drunken mistake he was fully aware of what he was doing and he claims he doesnt know why he did it ... i wish he could answer that but he doesnt know... Helppp plleasee.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): It really depends on the circumstances you haven't told us about,
How long have you been together in total?
How long ago did he sleep her and when and how did you find out?
Finally what were the circumstances of him sleeping with her (druken mistake? etc.) and has he been completely open and honest about it since you found out or does his story not match?
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A
female
reader, Lizzabeth +, writes (20 February 2009):
I think you have every right not to trust him!
However he is doing everything in his power and with what you say you can tell her really does care about you, although relationships should be built on trust and if you dont trust him then it isnt going to work.
Maybe you could just leave it for a moment without commiting to anything and if he cares so much for you build up a stronger bond through friendship rather than as a proper relationship so that trust can be there again.
I dont want to bring up his ex but is he definately over her? Maybe he needs to work out his true feelings first!
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