A
male
age
36-40,
*heridan
writes:hi i signed up for a onlie dating agentses a few months ago and sent 2 or 3 email to girls i was interested in but got no reply just wonderd if anyone had any ideas on wot i should put on thease emails i/e to get the girls atention as i spotted a girl i like tonight but want to give a good impression hope you can help thank if you can but if you canrt tanks for reading this anyway thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 If you are going to write an email, make sure it has substance. Why do you like her? Was it something she wrote in her profile? Did it relate to something you also enjoy? Start with that and go from there.
Form whole sentences and use punctuation; it does not have to be perfect, but an honest attempt shows that you care enough to at least try.
If you have a profile of your own make sure it has some good information about you, too. Odds are these girls are checking out your profile before deciding to write back or not. If you don’t provide any information about yourself they may figure that you aren’t really serious about being there. In your profile give some general information, such as likes, hobbies, interests, favourite books/movies/music, pets (if any), etc. The type of things that sum you up in a nutshell.
Be honest and polite, just as if you were meeting her face-to-face. All you can be is yourself, and if it works out then great! But it may not, and it’s all just a part of how these things go.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Well it depends on the site for starters. E Harmony has different dynamics going on than say... adult friend finder!
But across the board, one thing to understand about those online sites: The women are even more selective there than they are in real life! They are never looking for a reason to talk to you, they are always looking for a reason NOT to. The very pretty ones literally go through hundreds of emails per day, so the chance of your mail being immediately trashed with little to no consideration is amazingly high.
You see, the ratio on online dating sites of men to women is just skewed to heck. Something like 10 men to every woman, at least. It gives these women even more of a false sense of celebrity than they get in the club when they are wearing their sexiest outfit.
What you need to do is show you have read their profile and formulate some clever way of acknowledging some random fact that they put in there. Also, you cannot project any negative angles of yourself whatsoever, because remember, they are looking for a reason to delete you. Making them laugh is a plus. Also, formulate an interesting date idea and describe it to her. Dinner and a movie just won't cut it, because that's boring to read about. So you have to think creatively and outside the box. Just remember how much competition you are likely to have arrayed against you.
Even if you follow these principles, if you are aiming for one woman, or only a few women, you are likely to still be disappointed.
The way I got any kind of play back when I tried these sites is sheer volume. Put aside several hours and treat it like a college project or something. Craft a base email that describes yourself in a positive light and your ideal date idea, then, go through a bunch of girls' profiles and customize the bulk email each time just enough so it seems its crafted only for her. Do this with at least 60-100 prospects.
If you do this, several girls will inevitably take the bait. I've picked up a couple that way...And as it turned out, they were all online for a reason. Yep, crazy.
lol.. eh, but all in all, real life is easier and you are more likely to get exactly what you want if you are face to face.. I don't recommend dating sites, they just add an unnecessary and skewed filter to the process of selection.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Why don't you try to go to the beach? In this beautiful weather, all the people are looking for contact. Try playing volliball,or something , you can always join in.It is just an idea. But you can always tell about a movie you liked, because it's better, if they know your taste, you don't want to hang with a starwar freak, if you are into cool movies. I mean nothing wrong with anything everybody can have their own taste, but its better to be up front... Good luck,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Hi!I think, just try to be honest, and make sure you are intersting!Don't be shy, there are many other guys out there, who are wondering about the same thing!You are not alone! I think, you should try to read that website http://online-dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_email_your_online_matchBut ,just make sure ,you don't give up!I'm sure you know ,there are many people out there, who need advice like that, and sometimes a councellor can help a lot too. I know someone who went to a self confidence group and he changed 100%.You could try that, good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): im not sure on the specifics but dont come on too strong or needy...thats a big turnoff for alot of girls/women. also if 1 female doesnt reply dont get discouraged...use the law of averages lol...the more you email the better chances of a response.
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