A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I need help! I love my job but it seems like I get passed over for promotions and projects. There is one other woman that works with me and everyone seems to love her. She is very lazy and does the bare minimum but still gets lots of praise I even help her out with her projects. She threw me under the bus a couple of times plus kisses the bosses butt every chance she gets. She has gotten a promotion and now I feel I have to be that way to get ahead but that's not my style I believe in hard work so getting people in trouble or kissing butt isn't me! Help any ideas for getting ahead without selling my soul? I forgot to mention that many people tell me that I deserve a promotion!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2012):
 do you guys get evaluations?
at my last evaluation I asked the boss, "what do I need to do to get a promotion" not general stuff.
i wanted specific projects...
you could go to the boss and talk about it.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (19 June 2012):
 Look at this objectively. What traits did those who were promoted have? Were their competent? Did they have seniority over you in the company? Do they have superior people skills? Are they in the loop when it comes to office politics? Are they more liked by upper management than you?Even though it sucks, most people who are very successful get there not necessarily because they're great at their job, but because they have great people skills. They're either charming, or know how to get people to do what they want and above all- they're likable. Others may simply get ahead because management likes them. Let's face it....Would you rather work with people you like and enjoy seeing, or someone you don't necessarily like as a person?Are you confident and do you take charge? I doubt it. If you were, you would be sitting in their office right now, discussing your promotion. If you have been with the company for at least one year, it's time to go in and list all your contributions and how you have been outperformed others and why you feel you need to be given more responsibilities.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): I can sympathize with you because I'm about the same age as you, and have seen the exact same things happen over and over again, and been passed over myself over and over again. And I've been stabbed in the back many times. I just came to accept that I will not be getting promoted as long as the work environment I am in is so heavily geared toward this kind of BS.Things got better for me when I switched jobs. The new boss seemed to be a lot more appreciate of my contributions and skills and himself seemed to have more integrity than my previous bosses and organizations. Things are still not great - the new job has a much lower salary than my old one, but just not being surrounded by such blatantly unfair BS every day, and the feeling of injustice, actually makes up for my salary being so much lower because I feel better about my work life in general now just from not having my senses bombarded daily with yet more evidence of unfairness and injustice. all I can say is, you're not going to change an entire organizational culture. If you're modeling the change you want to see, but no one else is following you, then the most proactive thing you can do is to remove yourself from this toxic environment and find a better one.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (18 June 2012):
Well aside from sucking up to the boss, she is doing something very important in the business world which is making herself known.
If you do extra work etc , you need to make it known. It is not like a relationship where you expect your spouse to just accept and appreciate it. This co-worker is doing things to make herself known so you should emulate similar behaviour. Yes hard work is good, but you need to develop that higher level of communication rather than compare to another.
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