A
male
age
51-59,
*tevie Ray
writes:I am a gay man who just turned 40 years old. I have known my lover since he was 17. He is now 21. We are artists and collaborate on large scale paintings. I initiate ideas for a photo shoot and he models for the photos. Then we blow up the photos on large canvas on which he paints to create the finished piece. Our work is not only my ideas or his. It is a complex process of building up a concept based on each of our ideas along the way. We have built up this process over the past four years to the point where we are almost ready to start showing our work in galleries. We also write and record music together. Our relationship is very strong. We live 3 hours away from each other but are together once or twice a month for 2-7 days at a time. We are emotionally connected in a deep way. I often know what is going on in his life before he tells me. In the past year, our relationship has developed to the point where he wants me to move in with him and take our relationship to the next level. I have some fears about this because although we have sex almost everynight we are together, he says that he will always have a desire to poke a vagina. For now, we have talked about having a transparent, open relationship in which we might find a woman he could have casual sex with from time to time. I am nervous that he is young and loves me and is compromising his own sexuality for me. I asked him if it would be better if I found a boyfriend and he a girlfriend. He doesn't like this solution because he says he loves me and loves having sex with me along with everything we do in the art world and our deep emotional bond. This is truely a unique relationship and there is very little in writting that describes this kind of relationship model and how successful it could be. I have reservations, because he is young, that this could be a phase or maybe he just doesn't know what he is doing. My confusion comes from the fact that our love is just as strong or stronger than my past partner of 10 years. I wonder if it is strong enough to support the disires he has to have sex with women occasionally.My question is really a search for other couples in this same situation and if it can be successful and long lasting. Your thoughts?
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female
reader, guesswho12308 +, writes (27 February 2011):
I am forty years old and been with my gf whom is 19 now but was almost 17 when we first started talking.. it has been a rough three years but well worth it. Her parents placed a restraining order on me so we could not talk text or see each other, but that did not stop us. We had to talk, it killed us. When she turned 18, she went to the court and removed her name from the restraining order and we have been together since. I love and cherish her dearly and cannot be without her in my life. I think alot about her age and mine and her wanting someone else younger or better than me, but she proves her love and devotion in so many ways. YOU guys have to believe it will work and your love is stronger than that urge to explore other sexual desires. I have never felt as I do with her and she makes me feel so complete.
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