A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guysive been with my bf for 6 months now and i think its falling apart so if you have any advice please help!for the past month hes been really depressed and paid me no attention. I think some of the feelings i have for him in that time left but came back last week. He left on friday for two weeks skiing and i miss him so much but he really didnt mind leaving me and he wasn't acting. Any connection we used to have seems to be gone but i still love him and miss him!has anyone got any idea whats going on with me?thankyou!
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female
reader, DT35 +, writes (20 April 2009):
First of all, if he's feeling depressed, have you tried to talk to him? Men turn into 8 year old boys who's toys have been broken by a neighbour when things are troubling them. They become either silent or violent, 80% of men fall into the former thankfully. If your feelings are changing then step up and say it. Say to him, "look, things aren't right, I don't know why, I like you, you make me laugh, you have made me happy but I need to clear my head" it may be the get out clause he's looking for (not brave enough to end things, just waits for you to do it) or he could be relieved that you feel the same. Men don't know how to deal with emotion on the whole, and 30 odd years of relationships has taught me that. If he worth the fight, then fight. Let him ski with his mates...consider age gaps, distance....then consider this.. Stand at the back door of your place, imagine you are 70 years old. Look out into the garden, he is there, 70 odd, 80, however old, and think, is that what i want to see in 60 years? His face? Is it his voice I want to hear? Can you picture yourself standing in the post office queue holding hands with him? Could you live with that or tolerate it? If the answer is 'Live with', there's romance and fire still there, all you need to figure out is if it's worth it. If the answer is 'tolerate'..................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (31 March 2009):
Unfortunately as a teenage girl you have not yet learned not to take this from guys and your heart is still telling you that 6 months together means you have to stay with him as otherwise your feelings meant nothing.
If he's treating you badly then it means it's over. You leave him and you get over him.
You need to learn this life lesson early on that your heart is great but you have to listen to your brain just a little bit more.
When he comes back, tell him you have been doing some thinking, that you are not happy and you want to split up with him.
Good Luck!! xx
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