A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Once again, I need advise from our more experienced friends here.Three months ago, I found out my ex was keeping a LDR with another girl since December 2008. So i was so angry that I broke up with him. A week later i took him back only as a friend and he agreed. Yet I realized that even friendship we cannot share because it hurts me to see him receiving SMS from this girl. So i told him that we should stop seeing each other. It was then that he begged me to reconsider and told me how much I mean to him. And he said he will finish with her. So since I still love him, i took him back again.After that I saw how much he changed for the better. He treated me like a princess and would always initiate contact with me even if I tried to ignore him sometimes. The problem was, my mind had not been at rest at all. His cheating was still stuck in my brain that out of revenge I started entertaining another guy.. I don't know, i felt like I wanted him to feel how i felt before. But even with this thing on my mind, i had complete control of myself as I never met this guy in person. I only answer his calls or SMS him back. I was too scared to meet him. And i told him I just wanted to be friends with him to which he said he doesn't mind.Then my ex found out about it and he was so angry that he cried. Since that week, we had a series of fights. Then one day, he went to this city where this girl lives and the whole day he never called me. So I was scared to death that he went back to her. I tried to call him like crazy and when he returned, he broke up with me. I knew then that he revived his relationship with her. I was really devastated. Because of this, I told my suitor I cannot entertain him anymore and explained things to him that I need to be alone which he accepted. I wrote my ex an emotional letter telling him that I missed him and still love him but since he went back to her, I have to let him go. Now that was two months ago, then just 2 weeks ago, I started to receive messages from him again. He asked me about my family and friends to which i replied politely. After 3 messages, he would stop replying. It was always like that. Then last week, he asked me if i tried contacting the other girl. And he ended up telling me that he's been depressed lately and that he is not ok anymore with this girl. I don't know for sure if they broke up. I don't want to ask since I felt i don't have the right to ask him.Then 2 days ago, he asked me what I have been up to. I told him I am starting to enjoy my life again. Then he asked with whom I am doing this things, do I have a new boyfriend? I said I will not disclose who I am going with but I don't have a boyfriend yet.I have to admit that I still love him. I wanted to move on, but as he has been showing these things lately...I feel like changing my mind and realize I still want him back. I am tempted to tell him how I feel but I just control myself and try to be civil with him. The fact that he is showing these changes lately is kinda giving me hope. As I don't have too much experience with guys,I want to know if I have any chance I can have him back or am I just overreacting? What should I do?Sorry for the very long explanation but I know it is important to give you a background. Hope anyone who's been through the same thing can help me. Thanks!!
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, move on, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CupidLover  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Hi There,
So i read your whole question, and i just want you to know that honestly honestly, u should not even think of going back to him.
I mean come on!! he spent a whole day with a complete stranger and then comes back and just breaks up with u! once a cheater always a cheater. The guy you love will take advantage of you and your emotions,do u really want him to do that to you??
He'll think to himself "oh i left her and went with someone else,and she took me back so many times,i can do it over and over again and she'll still take me back"
You deserve to be with someone who loves you and cares about you and only you.
Also,you even said it yourself "i was just starting to enjoy my life" do u want to go back to someone u will have so much stress and many fights with all the time?
My advice is,move and and dont look back my dear,it's for you own good.
Goodluck,if u have any more questions,feel free to message me privately
xox
|
