A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, so i fear i have social anxiety , i am very shy , no self confidence in anything i do and very low self esteem and i hate the way i look. i dont go out (besides work mon-fri) ive kinda lost touch with my mates from school. we've all drifted apart gone diff ways and with my days of im in my room bored and deppressed looking on facebook at what and who im missing out on. and its a horrible routine and i dunnno what to do. added a girl on facebook younger bro friend and we got talking and we were flirting with each other she was calling me fit and cute and goodlooking i was saying same back and i felt great i felt realy confident and good looking. she went offline and i was on facebook all day waiting for her to come back so i could keep talking to her. it was a nice change from not talking to anyone new all the time, and basicly i want that feeling back. i know if she invited me out i would be petrified and start panicking, thinking of excuses not to go out even though in my heart i would wanna go out. i'd be worrying she didnt find me attractive (even tho she said i was on facebook, but they're only pictures she might not like me in person) and who she was with, what i could say and what to do.... its becoming an obbsesion i always wanna talk to her as i said its a ni ce change but i dont wanna keep speaking to her every day incase she gets sick of me. but thats just one of many problems in my life. id like advice on that please but my main problem is my self confidence, shyness, self esteem and how i hate how i look so bad.how do i overcome that? make new friends have a girlfriend? what can i do? thanks
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confidence, facebook, flirt, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (11 December 2011):
You must have SOME general interests outside of work [ what work btw ?].
You need to make time evenings / weekends to get out of the house and devote some time to them.
It would give you more confidence to buff up so join a mixed gym and work out two or three times a week ; plus you might make friends even if with other males ...... going out with friends is one way to meet others casually.
Do something new : eg take up a musical instrument / painting / photography and go to beginners' classes.
Plan now for an interesting adventure or artistic activity holiday next summer. Doesn't have to be expensive . Google Youth Hostels and see if they have cycling tours or whateve.
In short there's plenty of useful stuff which you could be doing which will develop and mature you as a person : A that will be good in itself ; and B it'll make you more interesting to girls ......
Report back on yr findings in due course.
PS : forget the Facebook girl unless she comes back on to you.
And switch it off all together until you've got some interesting real world activities to write up.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 The best way to overcome shyness is to get out there and talk to people. Stop spending all day on facebook and be amongst real people instead. The longer you leave it the worse it will get.
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