A
female
age
41-50,
*harpes
writes:Was dumped by my boyfriend end of jan. I kept getting texts of him and then they started dwindling , the longest with no text was nearly 2 weeks and he said he loved me and no more taking sleepers with prefabs anyway as he felt horrid. Anyway fast forward nearly 2 weeks and I started thinking he is with somebody else etc when I got a text saying I love you but I have bad headaches and fever , I know what your para head must think but I would pay a millilion pounds to feel normal for just a hour to be with you . I didn't respond . What does he mean? I know he has his neighbours round and goes to the pub yet feels too ill to see me the person who loved and stood by him for nearly 10 years . I'm pretty sure there is somebody else so why won't he tell me and why send me random texts saying he loves me and then I hear nothing for days. I feel pretty messed up with this situation. Any true advice for me please? X
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2018): He's keeping your feelings raw and testing to see if you're still holding-on emotionally. It's head-games!
It's also to see if he can keep you clinging to false-hope he's coming back; so he can get some post-breakup sex now and then. Giving into that is beneath your dignity; and gives him too much power over your feelings.
Males don't like the thought of their sex-partners being with other men. You're like property, and his territorial instincts keep him wondering if you've found a better sex-partner. It's his male-ego, my dear! Love has nothing to do with it. It strokes his ego every-time you let him know you're still pining for him; while he's doing the nasty with some other female.
If you suspect he's with someone else; let that be your motivation to keep your distance, and move on with your life.
Get-over him!
He's toying with your emotions; so you won't get over him too fast. When he senses you've had too much time without contact; out of the blue comes a message or a call.
Stop taking the messages. That's why you're messed-up. That makes him feel good; but doesn't mean he wants you back.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (4 May 2018):
 Block, delete and move on.
It’s quite simple. He broke up with you, so he needs to accept it’s over just as much as you do. He doesn’t want you to move on and his plan is working perfectly because it’s making you think there’s still something there.
Get on with your life, it’s too short to waste on messers. Block his contact.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (4 May 2018):
 You are a grown woman, not a child. You KNOW what you NEED to do. Problem is, it is not the same as you WANT to do, so you will ignore it and continue allowing him to yank your chain to stop you moving on.
You can't control what others do, including this guy. You can, however, limit the effect it has on YOU by blocking him and moving on with your life. 10 years is more than enough to have wasted, don't you think?
Saddest thing is, I am pretty sure you won't. Such a shame.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 May 2018):
 I agree with Auntie Bim Bim
and I want to add that by keeping you on your toes with ODD texts, he is preventing YOU from finding someone else, as he KNOWS you are still caring for him and perhaps still holding that torch of hope that he REALLY does love you. He has you in Limbo. He doesn't REALLY want to date you, he doesn't want to invest in you, he doesn't want to prioritize you but... he doesn't WANT you to move on and find REAL happiness elsewhere.
I agree that you ought to just block him. He is a WASTE of your time and has been for a VERY long time.
It's EASY to type - I love you. See, I just typed it, and I can tell you UNLESS he actually tell you this to your face and SHOWS it with ACTIONS - it's worthless and meaningless.. it's JUST words.
Do you want to waste more time on this one?
I get that you might have feelings for him still, but reality is that he DUMPED you and now he is toying with you when nostalgia hits or when he feels like playing mind-F games with you.
Save yourself the trouble and heartache and CUT him off from ALL means of communication and work on moving on, moving forward with YOUR life.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 May 2018):
 My guess is that he knows how you feel about him and so he is keeping the lines of communication open and your feelings intact by dangling a carrot .... you have to agree its working.
When he needs you there you will be, still hooked.
My true advice is to block him so that he can no longer send this meaningless, no substance, rubbish via text.
Believe me, if he was seriously in love with you he would be knocking on your door .... block him on all social media, I bet he wont be knocking on your door any time soon. He is a user, don't let him use you.
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