A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, whats my problem ? I dont realy have any friends (well i do to talk to on Facebook xbox and such like)so I dont go out much, besides work Monday to Friday 8;30 till 5;30. My school friends I have distanced my self from due to them using and selling drugs and such like, but even if I did have friends I would rarley go out as I dont like the way I look, certain parts of my body and I hate crowded spaces. Like for instances if I was invited round town I'dd get realy anxious ,nervouse and self concious like realy bad. I wanna go out and meet new people make new friends and get a girl friend but I cant bring my self to do anything (due to work im nackerd by the weekend, I'm a labourer, and the fact I get so anxious and nervous). I've never been bullied or had bad family enviroments ,my school life was good I actualy was realy popular but some friends I never stayed in contact with, you could say I choose the wrong set of friends to be in contact with. But recently I was added people on facebook in my brothers year at school ages 14-15 trying to get my numbers up and to talk to people, and I added my bro friend a lass who I knew gher sister when I was at school now I dont fancy her but I think she attractive and she said I was too. I'm not thinking of a relationship with her but its a good emxaple of my worrying and getting anxious, I added her and was talking to her having a laugh and was talking to my bro too with her makes a nice change from same people nice to speak to some one new :) but we havent spoken in a week now and I wanna say hiya lol but I dunno how shed react? she sais she liked me I was funny and cute but I cant bring my self to say hiya lol cus I dunno howd she react :P So i put it of and get anxious about it so put it of and think what to say and what reply I would get. but thats not my prooblem, it would be nice with some advice but the problem is my anxiety and constant worrying whats the problem? How can I sort it out? And what can I do to meet new people thanks :)
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female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Aww you sound like such a lovely guy! To me though it sounds like you have some confidence issues that affect how you are socially. You seem shy and like you over think things on a social level. I think you need to try and stop worrying about other people and what they will think of you, we are all different and unique. if you are worried about your looks, who isn't? You can't change how you look, its you and you should be proud of it. Even some of the most beautiful people have body hang ups and issues, its human nature!
I'm not a doctor so don't quote me on this, but I think you may suffer from panic attacks. I have friends with exactly the same thing, they panic when its crowded. You should definately go and see a doctor and try and get your anxiety under control, before it spirals.
The girl you like; why not try and talk to her on facebook, or instant messaging? that way you don;t have to speak face to face and you can build your confidence up.
Try and get out and socialise and have fun with your life, because life really is too short! I have family who are labourers and i know how tiresome it is, but take friday night and saturday to chill and then have a good saturday night! Honestly, once you've taken the plunge and gone out with friends and got to know this girl you wont know what you were worried about before. One of the most attractive traits in a guy (and i'm not just saying this!) is confidence! :)
A
female
reader, vanillafrost  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Hi Dear,
I think you have a little bit of low self esteem and a shy personality. You might be a sensitive person too.
I used to be like this too and I still am sometimes :)
Here is what helped me:
I realized that I only live once and time flies by so fast!
It will take some courage to come out of your shell, but try to be more open to other people.
I would join parties or any event with a friend. I started to take dance classes and met new people :) And Facebook ofcourse..
Just say hi to her and relax :)
I hope this was helpful to you
Good luck!
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