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Another teacher crush, how can I stay focused?

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *sweet_girlx writes:

See the problem is I am madly in love with my teacher. His been my head of year for three years now and I have tried everything to forget about him, everything reminds me of him!

He's 56 years old and for some reason i'm attracted to him, I didn't want to keep it bottled up so plucked up the courage to tell my friends. I thought they would laugh and i'd have to pretend i was joking but they were calm about it.

See it all started when he was sticking up for me and kept asking how i was when i broke my arm, he has all these qualities and some of my friends said "he's a dad figure to you" but he isn't I've got my dad and he does a great job keeping me safe bringing me up etc.

In the summer I found his email address on the internet and started talking to him via emails, I obviously didn't tell him who i was and when we got back to school. I couldn't stop blushing when ever i saw him or when he'd tell me to sort out my uniform, a smile always grew on my face and he just lights up my day. The more emails I sent the more he started acting differnet I thought he knew it was me and got my friend to tell him, he said he thought it was and had to tell our deputy head who is my english teacher i trust her 100%. He then stopped sending me emails but we talked more at school.

I became obsessive and found all sorts about him and started getting into trouble because i knew i'd be sent to him. I can't go one day with out hearing his voice or seeing they sweet little face. I still love him i thought it wasn't love but i want to be with him every minute of every day!

He has a wife and family and the funny thing is I thought i'd be bitter and jealous of them but i'm not their really nice. I've spoke t my english teacher about him and she just said it must be an infatuation, what for three years and more???

The boys at my school are so immature hes different hes funny, kind, always smiling, caring, mature, intelligent, when hes there i just feel like nothing can every hurt me. I can't stop crying because its nearly the end of secondary school and i'm staying on for sixth form so luckily i will still get to see him, but i'm months away from my GCSE's and doing rubbish because i haven't listened and put more effort into getting into trouble, everytime i set my mind to getting back on track i think about him!

I can see other people feel the way i do so maybe you could help because I haven't a clue.

View related questions: crush, immature, jealous, my teacher, the internet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009):

i know how u feel...i am in love with my old american studies teacher...he is a young teacher, and veryyyy sexy! i fell in love with his attitude, and how smart he is...and wen ever i see him i always have the biggest smile on my face, but tha bad part about it is im a senior and i will be leaving in may...im gonna miss him a lot.he's young, he is not married, no kids, i dont think he is currently dating...but man i really freakin LOVE HIM!!! and wen i see him in the halls he's always like on look wat the cat drug in...and he would smile n be like how are u...and he teaches phychology, so they talk about relationships and stuff like that....and a student asked him if he would ever go out with an 18 year old....GUESS WAT HE SAID! yes and i was like ok i will get at u in a couple more monthes...lol but i know i will have to get over him soon =( ((*tear*tear*)) and move on!

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A female reader, mysterious_blonde_lady United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2009):

MISTAKE NO.1 you told a member of a staff. He has been warned off. You have no hope now, he will avoid you. Nevermind.

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A female reader, sweet_lover101 United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2009):

sweet_lover101 agony auntMan I know how you feel :) But the teacher I fell for is a married 60 year old man. I dont know why some girls thinks that if someone fancies a teacher they say you have bad taste in men, it annoys me so much coz whats not to like about them! because your right boys nowadays are immature,annoying and impolite.

Teachers they ARE funny, kind, caring, mature and intelligent :) Thats the whole thing I love about teachers. They are so perfect to you, you want them to be with you every second of the day for the rest of your life.

Love is really blind because you like him because of him in the inside. I'm over him after 2 and a half years but I just cant help looking at him, then look down and face the ground remembering all those crazy times you guys did :) It makes you smile really. My teacher was really protective.. He always gets jealous whenever a boy hugs me, I can see the look on his face and then he says " Get off her, you're too youung for love and he smiles, laugh then wink in a friendly way :) Man all those times lol

But I suddenly realise reality. You can never be with him, ever. He's a 56 year old man with a very nice family and do you want to break that all up by making a silly big mistake. If you really love him, you'll let him go and don't get your feelings carried away too strong. Control them. I know hormones are all over right now but just try hard and steer clear :)

Good Luck ':) xxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009):

I completely understand how you feel. Right now I've got a huge crush on my forty-year-old history teacher. However, with this in mind, the only thing I can tell you is that you *have* to let it drift apart. I know that's really hard to hear. The thing is, when you leave school, you'll meet a whole bunch of new people and, if you let yourself, begin to see the qualities you admire in your teacher actually in people your own age. You'll be able to persue a relationship that could actually happen, as apposed to one that would never work out.

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A female reader, kitty_3 United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

kitty_3 agony aunti'd give him some time if he's uncomfortable... he's probably confused about your feelings/ doesn't want to get in trouble. i get having crushes on teachers, trust me. and i have no clue how to get it to stop! sometimes i think it never will... :(

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A female reader, xsweet_girlx United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2009):

xsweet_girlx is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xsweet_girlx agony auntThanks people suppose it helps, i will always be confused because thats just me lol. But i just don't know what to do next i don't want to drift apart but then i don't know how to make him feel confortable talking to me again

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009):

oh, my God!

You are still in sec school but you fall in love with a man who is 40 years older than you??

Well, I'm a student also and have experienced some "crushes" on my female teachers, though none maybe is as mad as yours.

My advice:

Stop loving him, or at least, try not to think about him. First, you have you GCSE coming. Second, he has a family and a marriage. Don't ruin it.

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A female reader, yourdesire26 United States +, writes (7 February 2009):

yourdesire26 agony auntWell let me say i know exactly how you feel. i had a huge crush on a teacher at my school but i eventually got over it after like a year. you have to realize reality and that the rlationship can not happen. he could lose his job and his family. there is nothing wrong with talking to him but just keep it at that. Maybe you just like older guys. that was my whole problem and now i dating this hall monitor that used to work at my school who is 26. we have been together for 5 1/2 months and its great. Just et the days go by and little by little you will get him out of your head every minute and look at him as just a teacher eventually. wish you luck. if you have any questions just message me. hope i helped.

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