A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I see him every three months or so. I just got back from visiting him. I spent 8 days with him. We hardly made love. Maybe 4 times. Four days before I was about to leave, I was asleep and he was watching a porn video, AS I LAY RIGHT BESIDE HIM. It was so akward for me that he had the nerve to put it on as I lay there. I kinda moved my arm and he shut it off. Then I still lay there on my side and he put it on again. I mean really, we hardly even get to make love. I don't have a problem with him watching porn but do it as I sleep beside me was uncomfortable. He could have waiting till I was gone. Its like I hardly see you every two months. Everytime i tried to set the mood he would say lets go out or not want to make love with me. Then I tell him how I felt and he cussed me out. :-(
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female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 That's really weird.. I'm not sure why he would do that. And you should try talking to him again.. let him know at the first of the conversation that you'd appreciate it if he just spoke rationally, and didn't get upset.
when you do speak to him, use the "I" message.. instead of the "YOU" message. Like, say "I feel you're ignoring me, and my needs" rather than "You're ignoring me and my needs" that way he gets the real message, instead of just him getting defensive.
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