| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I am 43, my wife 41 and have been married for 13 years, have 4 kids aged 12, 7, and twins of 5My wife wants more kids (must undergo IVF and shes happy to do so) and I think that 4 kids are enough and dont want more.She refused councelling, and when she finally went still wants her own way and can not see my side of things - money for a larger family, be happy with what weve got, etc etcMy wife says to me - either 1 more kid or lets get divorced. She refuse for 6 months to make love to me and insist on her own way. She is not great at sex and I have suffered all my married life!What to do - give in or wait for her to divorce me?
View related questions:
divorce, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): 4 kids i think that's more than enough your wife needs to get her head screwed on blackmailing u into doing something like that how sad can u get and it sounds to me like she's just using you for a child making machine.
Your wife is being very selfish and divorcing you just for that is a very lame to say the least.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): You wife needs to understand this is not a unilateral, one-sided decision, on her part. A marriage is a partnership and you most definitely have a say. It's very unfair that she is making this choice on her own, without your consent and making it an either/or situation with idle threats of divorce if she doesn't get her own way. What I don't understand is the you both have 4 healthy, wonderful children already. Why isn't she content with that? Sometimes, we have to be happy with what god blessed us with, in the first place and not keep having babies to fill "a need". You and your wife will have to work together to arrive at the decision whether or not to have that baby. Deciding the birth of a new baby, in a marriage is a couple’s decision together, not the overruling choice of just your wife.
Remember, the mechanics of the fertility treatment world are daunting, not to mention a huge expense. This is the time to sit with your wife and voice your reservations and concerns. Tell her how these issues would be and are emotionally costing you. Really listen hard to each other. You both need to find a way to the same page on this decision. My advice to both of you is to put your needs first, and your wants second. If you need to, use your minister, or a couples counselor to help you work through this problem. But your wife has to understand, that in order to bring a baby into the world, the parents best gift to that new child is to love each other, first and foremost and have a marriage/family life that is strong and steady. It doesn't sound like you have this. Get to that counselor, asap and think this through for the sake of your family. I wish you both the best and good luck
...............................
|
